Q I feel very uncomfortable about accepting compliments. Is this normal?

A I wouldn't exactly say it is normal to feel uncomfortable accepting compliments but it is surprisingly common. One reason for not being able to accept compliments is that you don't think that you deserve the compliment. Another is that you don't trust the person giving the compliment. And then there is the reaction of: "I don't know what to say to someone who pays me a compliment."

There is a very simple way to accept a compliment, especially if you are stuck for words. Just say "thank you".

It is worth remembering that most compliments are given in good faith and honesty. Therefore just to ignore it could be taken offensively by some people. A simple thank you can make it all worthwhile for both parties.

One way to learn to accept compliments is to learn to give sincere compliments. Giving a compliment without it sounding false or cheap flattery takes practice.

Here is a very effective way to deliver a sincere compliment and have it accepted in the way it was meant.

Give the compliment

Justify your compliment

Ask a question involving your compliment

For instance, if you think someone is wearing a nice dress, in fact you are aware that they always wear nice clothes you might word your sincere compliment such as: that is a lovely dress you are wearing (compliment) you always look lovely (justify) where do you buy your clothes (question)?

But for now, until you are a little more comfortable, just say "thank you".

Updated: 09:01 Monday, September 30, 2002