York City defender Tom Cowan is presently studying to be a journalist as a career for when he eventually retires from the professional game. Here he gives an insight into life as a player...

FIVE years ago I spent a year on the sidelines after rupturing the anterior cruciate ligament in my right knee. I survived, only just.

Now, after being out for five weeks with a calf strain, I can feel all the same pent-up frustration rearing its ugly head again.

At 33, any injury is career-threatening. But why should what seems like a routine calf strain keep me out for five weeks, which is a lifetime in football?

We all have our idiosyncracies and, to my wife Della's constant frustration, mine happens to be perfectionism.

That's why, after following club physio Jeff Miller's advice to the word, I can't understand why my road to recovery has taken so long.

More annoying still, three weeks ago I was all set for my comeback, training was going well and the gaffer had included me in the team to travel to Bournemouth.

Disaster struck ten minutes into the warm-up when I tore the calf muscle again.

It was the longest weekend ever and to top it all off we lost 1-0 in a game we should have at least taken a point from.

Contemplating the endless early morning treatment sessions I had in front of me, I wondered if the five-hour coach journey to Bournemouth had caused the relapse. Who knows? Jeff certainly thought so.

Last weekend the team and I were looking forward to a little relief from League pressures with the game against Swansea in the FA Cup first round.

Any footballer will tell you that watching your team from the stand is the hardest part of being injured and I still get nervous before any game whether I'm playing or not.

After 15 years as a professional you would think I might be a little complacent these days but I believe a few nerves are a good thing.

When I'm injured, though, I try to make sure I'm in the dressing-room to wish the team good luck.

But this time my good wishes were thwarted when two hours before kick-off the game was called off, pitch waterlogged.

Par for the course, I suppose, when you consider one of the biggest disappointments in my career was being injured when I was at Sheffield United and missing the FA Cup semi-final against Sheffield Wednesday at Wembley.

It may sound like grasping at straws, but perhaps the FA Cup is my jinx.

On a positive note, though, I may be fit enough to play in the rearranged game.

But football aside, why, I hear you ask, am I writing this column...apart from wishing to release some of the pent-up frustration caused by my injury?

I have decided to enrol on a journalism course.

The thought of never playing football again sends shivers down my spine but I have to be realistic and face the fact that my career has to come to an end at some time.

So why journalism?

During my year out at Huddersfield with my cruciate injury I was asked by BBC Radio Leeds to do some commentary on a few games. Nervous at first, I soon eased into it and found I really enjoyed it and began to look forward to the next time.

And I decided to contact a journalist friend, Andrew Collomosse, and asked him to consider the possibility of co-writing a book.

Ambitious I know, but Andrew knew I would put everything I had into making the book a success.

The result was 'On the Edge', a diary-form account of a year out of football and the determination a player needs to make it back into the team. We sold in excess of 2,000 copies. Not bad for a beginner.

The seeds were now sown. Journalism seemed the obvious progression and a few weeks ago, I contacted the sports desk at the Evening Press and voila - this column and hopefully the first step to my new career.

Oh, and in case anyone is interested, 'On The Edge' is available at a car-boot sale near you.

Updated: 11:06 Thursday, November 21, 2002