THE Tories, rather unconventionally for the official Opposition, have steered away from open warfare with the Government recently.

Iain Duncan Smith - the self-styled "quiet man" of Westminster - has set out his determination not to engage in "yah boo" politics.

He has also tied the hands of his shadow ministers by taking his time about coming up with policies of his own - which makes it difficult to savage those of the other side.

But one scrap the Tories are spoiling to have is whether Britain should back the "son of Star Wars" project. It gives them a rare chance to cosy up to Tony Blair's close pal, George W. Bush, while highlighting splits in the Government. And they sure made the most of it this week.

The focus was the Royal United Services Institute conference on missile defence, which took place in London on Monday and Tuesday. It was attended by senior figures from the Bush administration and, among others, Conservative Shadow Defence Secretary Bernard Jenkin.

The Government was, of course, forced to keep its own powder dry. Geoff Hoon has made it clear he would walk bare-foot over hot coals if the US asked him too. But - with angry backbenchers watching his every step - he has so far been unable to offer up RAF Fylingdales and Menwith Hill for use by the US and has instead stuck to a rigid "they have not asked".

Mr Jenkin has no such problem - because missile defence is one of only a handful of topics his party feels truly comfortable discussing. So he goaded the Government mercilessly.

"The need for missile defence is beyond doubt," he told the RUSI.

"A Conservative Government would immediately offer the US the use of UK radar facilities and offer to site missile intterceptors on British soil and on ships of the Royal Navy.

"The worst diplomatic development since September 11 last year has been the widening gap between Europe and the United States. How that must give heart to the terrorists and dictators!"

He then followed it up with a letter to the Guardian - a newspaper unlikley to fall on his doormat with any regularity but read cover to cover by Labour troops.

"Even Russia has dropped all objections to missile defence," he wrote. "The UK has already been irresponsibly held back from this for too long."

If this was not bad enough for the Government, it came against the backdrop of a visit to Fylingdales on Wednesday by Lieutenant-General Ronald Kadish, director of the Pentagon's missiles defence agency. And the knowledge that decision day on the North Yorkshire radar bases is looming large.

As John Bolton, America's under secretary of state for arms control and international security, told the conference: "It is no longer a question of whether missile defence will be deployed. It is what, how and when".

As the Tories ran for the ticket office, he added: "The train is about to pull out of the station. We invite friends and allies and the Russian federation to climb on board."

Meanwhile, there is one defence system which has definitely won the support of the Government.

It seems dark forces out to embarrass our elected representatives have been using something called "hypertext markup language" to bombard them with hardcore porn!

Once accidentally opened, "page after page of highly offensive material is displayed on the screen without any mechanism for switching it off".

But MPs - and the poor secretaries and researchers who open most of their e-mails - need worry no longer, Leader of the Commons Robin Cook said this week. A special electronic filter has been bought to uphold the highest possible Parliamentary standards.

Updated: 11:23 Friday, November 22, 2002