TKO takes a light-hearted glimpse into the sporting future of 2003:

JANUARY

Berwick Kaler wins the Lottery and saves York City, announcing a half-price ticket offer for his 25th anniverary pantomime at the Theatre Royal.

York City Knights RL Club open their campaign in style by beating Hull KR in front of 6,000 fans at Huntington Stadium. New signing Paul Sculthorpe scores the winning try.

FEBRUARY

West Ham fans celebrate a rare home victory. Unfortunately for them its England - and not the Hammers - who triumph at Upton Park as sub Wayne Rooney nets a hat-trick against

Australia. Man City's Danny Tiatto is sent off for the Socceroos after breaking David Beckham's leg.

England's cricketers make a poor start to the World Cup in South Africa. Openers Marcus Trescothick and Nick Knight collide when going for a sharp single against Zimbabwe and miss the rest of the tournament. Nasser Hussain and Michael Vaughan both injure their backs when slipping on the pavilion steps and are flown home.

The selectors call up Brian Close, soon to celebrate his 73rd birthday, to skipper the side.

MARCH

Plans to make F1 more attractive get off to a bad start at the opening GP in Australia. The lead weights attached to Michael

Schumacher's Ferrari drop off at the first corner and the German goes on to win by four minutes despite a broken gearbox and three flat tyres.

APRIL

Paula Radcliffe breaks the world record - for men - at the Flora London Marathon.

People's racehorse Evening Press comes out of retirement to win the Martell Grand National at Aintree for Tim Etherington's Norton stable. Immediately sells her life story to 'Hello' magazine.

EC law decrees the Boat Race should be open to all education institutions. In a mass start, Viking College of Oslo ram both Oxford and Cambridge and pip Whitby Friendship RC to the line.

MAY

Arsenal complete the 'Double' by beating Leeds in the FA Cup final. The match is marred by a 20-minute mass brawl which leads to six red cards. Gunners manager Arsene Wenger says he did not see the incident. Leeds boss David Batty - one of the players sent off - claims he too did not see anything.

Manchester United reach the European Cup final against Real Madrid. UEFA switch the match from Old Trafford to Hackney Marshes so more United fans can see the game. Madrid win 2-1 with two injury time goals.

Man U nevertheless bring out a platinum 'Champions of Europe' kit and make record profits in South East Asia.

JUNE

Lennox Lewis defends his world heavyweight title by knocking out the entire South African rugby union pack with one hand tied behind his back.

JULY

With men and women receiving the same prize money this year, Wimbledon authorities opt to run one mixed tournament. Serena Williams beats Lleyton Hewitt in straight sets in the final.

Britain's new hero, Servo Outt, a Liechtenstein-born teenager, who qualified because his great-grandparents once had a game of tennis at Butlins, Filey, goes out in the first round.

Colin Montgomerie goes into the final round of The Open with an 11-shot lead. Tiger Woods wins by seven shots.

AUGUST

Revitalised York City start the season in the Premiership after the Football League folds following the closure of 69 clubs.

The World Athletics Champion-ships in Paris are dogged by a drugs scandal. All the Chinese athletes test negative.

Aussie superstar Ian Thorpe, having switched from swimming to triple jump, fails to break Jonathan Edwards' world

record because he could only complete two phases of the discipline as his feet were too big to fit in the sandpit.

SEPTEMBER

Scotland football manager Berti Vogts is delighted with his team's improvement after a battling 2-0 home loss to Faroe Islands.

York driver James Thompson retains his Touring Car Cham-pionship after barging all his rivals off the track in the last race.

OCTOBER

Lee Jackson scores a hat-trick as York City Knights win the NL2 play-off final in front of 12,978 fans. Bradford beat St Helens in Super League's Grand Final with a last-minute drop goal after Saints have three tries ruled out.

NOVEMBER

England reach the final of rugby union's World Cup after Jonny Wilkinson kicks a record 1,000 points, but lose to hosts Australia. Jason Robinson makes a shock return to rugby league by signing for Leeds.

David O'Leary's new book 'My Trials and Tribulations' fills the shelves of remainder book stores throughout the country.

DECEMBER

Rising snooker star Harry Potter wins the UK Championships at York's Shoppergate Theatre, formerly known as the Barbican.

- This week's TKO was written by Mystic Mart.

Updated: 11:10 Tuesday, December 31, 2002