Weak at the glee

Back then to England's free-falling flops against the Aussies at Upton Park. The manner of the 3-1 defeat, especially that first half shambles when the stumble-footed supernovas reproduced the passion-less performance of their second half World Cup demise to Brazil, has left supporters as disenchanted as by the approach to the friendly by national coach Sven-Goran Eriksson.

His Blair-type zeal took rotation, rotation, rotation to the most exasperating degree. First team fops first 45 minutes, second-stream wannabes second 45. It was a policy that Sven has since decreed as something he would be prepared to do 'until death'. Yet it is one that effectively killed the game as a spectacle.

Now, I just don't go along with the apologists for the megastar brigade who opined how it's impossible for such precious, pampered players to be expected to do the business when they have only been given 45 minutes.

Hang on, if you wanted to impress and were told you had a limited time frame then surely you'd be busting a gut for each of those 45 minutes. At least that's what the majority of the young colts, who replaced the lack-lustre seniors managed to do in the second half against Australia.

But where Sven's argument falls flatter than a ski is that such drastic switches in personnel serve merely to assist any opposition as Australia so emphatically demonstrated, as well as proving a major disservice to those fans who pay their money to watch the national team.

Anyone shelling out the £18 to £31 admission to watch the England-Australian friendly could rightly claim they did not get value for money. They have come to see a 'proper' match not an exercise that would be better employed as kick-about behind closed doors.

If the irksome Eriksson experiment is to persist then why not re-establish the England v England 'A' fixture that used to be part of the domestic calendar. What a motivational match that could be. The so-called seniors surely would strive to avoid the embarrassment of losing to their understudies, while the latter would be desperate to prove a point against the men in possession of the three-lioned shirts.

Sven might counter that preparation for major tournaments necessitates playing against other countries. Fair enough. A solution then would be to revive the Home Nations tournament. There would definitely be an edge to those games, and who knows, with Northern Ireland and Scotland involved England may just get a shot at winning a match or two.

WAS there ever such a feisty fifth round of the FA Cup as the eight encounters that excited and entertained over the weekend?

Barring routine wins for Southampton and Sheffield United - red and white stripes to rule this year perhaps, unless you're Stoke City - all the other ties were sprinkled with controversy.

Spat of the season so far was the opening half-hour of the Manchester United-Arsenal Old Trafford clash of the titans. Raw-boned, ruthless, and excellently refereed by Jeff Winter, it was just the sort of skirmish that makes the FA Cup - and English football - what it is.

Prat of the season so far was, unfortunately, referee Dermot Gallagher for somehow missing the goal that should have been for Crystal Palace's Tommy Black against Leeds United.

Drat of the season so far was the second strike for Wolves, which not only was a tad offside, but also stifled a comeback from battling basement braves Rochdale as they inched closer to what would have been the shock of the round.

THERE'S now a new answer to the most lovelorn question posed by a certain W Shakespeare.

If the boot, which reportedly cannoned off David Beckham's blond mane during a dressing-room hiatus as an allegedly incandescent Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson expounded his chagrin at losing to Arsenal, was that hand-made one bearing the name of Becks' youngest son, we could therefore ask: "Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou?"

And the reply: "On me 'ead, gaffer, on me 'ead." Apologies, of course, to the Bard of Avon.

Updated: 10:54 Tuesday, February 18, 2003