What is home education like from the child's perspective? BETHAN LEWIS writes about her experiences of being taught in the family

TO SAY that I disliked going to school would be untrue - I merely accepted it, as I had so many things. Nor can I remember a single unpleasant or distressing day.

Nonetheless, when my father suggested that my brother and sister and I see how we liked being taught at home for a while, I was delighted.

I don't think anyone realises how much of a child's individuality is lost in the school system. In order to survive, differences must be concealed, and views altered to conform. In this harsh environment anyone who stands out is ostracised.

The first few weeks must have been difficult for my mother, because she was doing most of the teaching at the time; she seemed to find it hard to find the right tone. Now and again I would have to tell her that she was using her "teachery voice", and point out that it was just her, talking to me, the same as we did the rest of the day.

I approached these new lessons with enthusiasm; it was just as much my responsibility to see that they worked as anyone else's. With no one to compare myself to, I saw nothing unusual in deciding to read Much Ado About Nothing at the age of 11, and read works of English literature for pleasure.

The A-levels Bethan did English and French by correspondence course were a mistake - a misguided attempt to re-enter a system which I had outgrown.

Home education had allowed me to form my own opinions; here I was told that to pass the exams, repeating the theories of other people was the key to success. For years learning had been an end in itself; suddenly it was a step to something else, to be forgotten the moment the exams were over.

Perhaps I was naive, but after having been taught at home for so long, I expected to be treated with respect, and was surprised by the condescending tone of the course books, and the uninspired, almost routine discussion of the texts.

I may not be a maths whiz, but I feel confident that some day soon I will be able to understand the intricacies of calculus and trigonometry; I'm far from fluent in German, Hindi and Italian, but I'm sure that if I tried a little harder I would improve.

Art and music are subjects which I know I will love more and more as I grow older. I'll probably never paint as well as Leonardo da Vinci, but why not have that as my ultimate goal? Why not aspire to one day read books in their original language; play the piano as well as Mozart, or know the history of every country and people?

Being taught at home has enabled me to think the impossible, and allowed me to be who I want to be - someone whose love of learning hasn't been stifled and who, at the age of 20, isn't ashamed to say that she still has a passion for fairy stories.

Updated: 08:52 Tuesday, March 25, 2003