YOU will never come across an album more likely to induce catatonia than this.

Not only is it abidingly miserable, but it may be the most mind-numbingly slow album ever. Continents have risen and empires toppled in the time it takes this lot to get round to finishing a song. Take Cosmic Letdown, which lasts for nine and a half minutes, nearly two minutes of which is a single sustained note - still not quite as drawn out as a Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? documentary, I'll grant you. You'd think a single with the title Hurricane Heart Attack would fare better, but it's so lumpen and dreary it ought to be named Indigestion In A Slight Draft. Really, life's too short.

Updated: 10:01 Thursday, April 24, 2003