MARK Goodwill isn't the dull timewaster you all thought he was when you read his dreadful letter ("Masked complaint", June 10).

As a robber I was very grateful for the information that Sainsbury's is a soft target for criminals, whereas Asda is a no-go area for the Mafia underclass such as myself.

I was really hoping the lads would do Asda over successfully because helmets are our item-of-choice headgear - wise for a really good robbery, because it hides us from CCTV and the nasty cops who want to catch us. Thanks Mark, I'll pass on the message to my boys, you are a true pillar of the community.

Or is the word "anorak" the one I'm grasping for ?

Phil Howden,

Saksaganskoho,

Kiev, Ukraine.

Updated: 10:55 Friday, June 13, 2003