Cool Summer Jazz (Virgin) *

IN the excellent monster movie Deep Rising, an erstwhile team of pirates is trapped in an elevator while a nightmarish creation attacks the tin can in which they stand. Amid the screams and the boggle-eyed overacting, the violent assault somehow starts up the muzak. "What is that?" cries a startled commando. For a moment, there is silence, before the crew's amiable geek pipes up: "The Girl From Ipanema". Well, Astrud Gilberto's classic-turned-muzak is here, but the rest is fairly monstrous. The cocktail is simple: chuck one or two familiar tracks on and fill the rest with dross. So while you start out with Norah Jones and Nina Simone, you wind up with Ronnie Laws and Richard Elliot. Jazz? Barely. Cool? Distinctly not. Summer? That's just an excuse.