IT'S Day 62 in the Big Brother House, and Jeffrey is looking sulky. He has dreamed up ambitious plans to inject some light relief into the desert of reality TV; he wants the contestants to hold a Krug and shepherd's pie party.

But Jeffrey's bold concept has hit a major hitch, with the housemates unkindly pointing out that the £16.76 in this week's food and drink kitty won't quite stretch the distance.

Steph goes on to rub it in by reminding him of the reason they have only got £16.76 to live on.

The housemates are all on short rations after they flunked this week's task, because Jeffrey failed a crucial creative writing exercise.

Later in the day, insult is heaped upon injury for Jeffrey when he is told he is to be excluded from the reward room because Big Brother finds his prose style unacceptable.

While the other housemates whoop it up for the night, knocking back snakebites and vandalising the statues with mascara, a disconsolate Jeffrey is left kicking his heels in the rest of the Big Brother house.

He passes the long hours by soaking in the Jacuzzi and belly-aching to the chickens, who seemed genuinely moved by his plight.

They lay half a dozen eggs.

The next day, as everyone apart from teetotal Cameron nurses yet another reward-room hangover, Jeffrey heads for the diary room in order to lodge an official complaint with Big Brother.

He tells the disembodied voice that he is not happy with the "distress" he has suffered at being left behind in the more restricted areas of the Big Brother house.

He reckons it is "unfair and brutal" for him to be kept down in the doldrums while the other inmates enjoy a rather more relaxed regime.

But the all-seeing power brooks no nonsense. Big Brother tells Jeffrey to grow up, and he leaves the diary room in a temper.

He spends the rest of the morning cornering any housemate who will listen, and harping on with his protracted tale of woe.

Not surprisingly, his less-than-sunny disposition does not endear him to the other contestants, who all put him firmly up for eviction in this week's vote.

Jeffrey has since confided to Ray that he can't wait to get out of the Big Brother house...but he has admitted he is feeling anxious about the eviction itself.

Before he went inside, Mary and the boys had assured him that they would be there for him when it was his time to leave.

Jeffrey tells Roy he wants to believe Mary, but when you have a woman as officially fragrant as she is, you can't be too complacent...

Eventually, he confesses he is really desperate not to end up being comforted by a heavily-pregnant Davina McColl.

"Blondes are far more up my street for that kind of thing," he tells a bemused Ray.

Do you want to evict Jeffrey?

Do you reckon he should stay in the Big Brother house for good?

Or do you have any other ideas for his future?

Phone, fax or text us with your votes.

It could be the most crucial call you ever make; don't forget, the gaiety of the nation is at stake.

Updated: 11:12 Friday, July 25, 2003