IN response to John McKenzie's letter ("Flashers' code", May 4). I do not purport to be a local self-appointed motoring spokesman, but if Mr McKenzie takes a closer look at his Highway Code under the section Driving To Infuriate Other Road Users he will find:

The motorist may park on a double yellow line or halfway across a pavement providing he uses his hazard warnings to inform other road users that he will only be a minute;

It's okay to block yellow boxes at junctions providing you were trying to get through the lights before they change. This 'up-the-other motorist's-backside' driving is the norm;

Motorists (especially van drivers and reps) are free to use their mobile phones while driving providing they're also reading a map or eating a sandwich at the same time;

There's no need to indicate at junctions (particularly if turning left) or before pulling out;

If you struggle to handle a Mini Metro on the school run, it makes sense to distress yourself and others further by trying to drive a huge people carrier/4x4/HGV instead;

If you're under 30 you must not travel anywhere without residents being able to hear you coming via your Advanced Stereo Warning, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM;

If you're over 60 it's okay to create a ten mile tailback whilst you enjoy your run-in-the-country.

Incidentally, this version of the Highway Code is presently out of stock.

David L Fairey,

Peterborough Road,

Lodge Moor, Sheffield.

...I ALSO missed the announcement John McKenzie wrote about.

However, I think it must also have contained other new information that is equally difficult to find in the Highway Code.

Namely that, if it's the middle of the night, or if you are in a hurry to get to work two minutes early, it's okay to overtake at high speed on 30mph side streets such as Beckfield Lane.

Or to pretend that inconvenient roundabouts such as the one at the junction of Beckfield Lane and Boroughbridge Road don't exist if you are coming in from the ring road at 70mph.

We could ask a policeman... if we could ever see one.

Hilary McElroy,

Beckfield Lane, York.

...WHY do so many men cycle on the pavement? Is it because their mummies won't let them cycle on the road?

Joyce Martin,

Rosedale Avenue,

Acomb, York.

Updated: 16:29 Friday, May 07, 2004