FUNNY goings on at the York Comedy Festival.

The Evening Press understands a clash of egos threatened to spill over into fisticuffs as two headline comics battled it out in the City Screen bar on Coney Street.

Andy Parsons and Adam Bloom were booked as co-headliners as part of the one-week festival, but that didn't stop a spat developing between the pair over who went on first and who played the longest set.

Shocked onlookers saw the award-winning comics in far from cheery form as temperatures rose last Wednesday night.

"They were having a real row," one witness told the Evening Press. "They didn't come to blows but they seemed very close. Nobody could believe what was happening."

Staff eventually managed to separate the pair and Parsons - a giant of a man who cuts an authoritative Sergeant Major style figure on stage - didn't hang around the basement bar after his opening set. He headed straight for the exit clearly not too eager to catch Bloom's gags.

Bloom, more of a light middleweight to Parsons' heavyweight, was clearly shaken by the incident. He told punters during his set that he had been "threatened" before the gig, but despite calls from the audience for more information, he refused to name names.

Observers were left debating which of the two prizefighters would have provided the knockout punchline.

TEMPERATURES were also rising during the Euro election count at Elland Road, Leeds, on Sunday night.

With candidates, journalists, activists, police and counters packed into a pokey conference suite opposite the stadium, things were getting a little hot under the collar as results streamed in from across the county.

So in true Yorkshire entrepreneurial style what should arrive outside the venue at about 10pm... an ice cream van.

Trade was booming and sweaty political animals streamed outside for strawberry splits, mini milks and Cornettos as Mr "Three Line" Whippy counted the cash.

Sadly for Labour and the Tories, whose votes slumped on the night, it was the UK Independence Party who seemed to have the Euro poll well and truly licked.

YESTERDAY was National Lift Share Day, a stunt to promote car sharing.

Unfortunately this nuance had evaded the breakfast show team on Radio York, who asked listeners to name the people they would most to join on an elevator ride...

Presenter Anna Wallace had already nominated Robbie Williams and David Beckham to take her to the top floor when listeners pointed out the misunderstanding.

BUT then we all make mistakes.. Jack Thomas was puzzled by a line in the Evening Press story on Friday about the opening of the Monks Cross Park & Ride.

"It seems odd that cyclists will be able leave their bikes at the new facility in lockers and then 'cycle into the city every day'," notes Mr Thomas.

"Will they just swap bikes for better ones, or will they just do the cycling action on imaginary bikes?"

FOOTBALL fans are still reeling from England hitting the self-destruct button against the French.

The Diary has never rated Emile Heskey, but must concede that he made a match-winning intervention on Sunday night. It's just a shame it was on France's behalf.

If the calamity has put you off football for life, how about switching your allegiance to these alternative summer sports?

The World Wife-Carrying Championships sees competitors heave the missus over a 250m course in Finland. Romania hosts the European Crazy Golf Championships, while participants in the World Worm Charming Contest in Cheshire will be attempting to beat the record of 511 worms charmed.

To find out more check out travel agent Travelcare's website:

Chris Titley

Updated: 10:11 Tuesday, June 15, 2004