THE geese that congregate on the banks of the Foss, near the Monkgate roundabout in York, are not universally loved by Huntington Road residents.

However, most people would agree that the goslings look cute.

And when drivers queue to allow a family of geese to amble across, it is one of those incongruous scenes which can only make you smile.

Well, most drivers wait.

There were scenes of some distress last Saturday afternoon when the driver of a metallic pinky-maroon 4x4 failed to share these sentiments.

Children, including a 12-year-old boy, wept as the man accelerated suddenly, quite deliberately and noisily squashing three fluffy goslings.

A mother apologised for swearing at the motorist, whose sod-off look suggested he was proud of his handiwork. Another mum reckoned she got the vehicle's number.

With a bit of luck, the callous driver should soon be hearing from the RSPCA.

RON Willis, of Priory Street, York, has been trainspotting. "Durham Cathedral was seen pulling out of York station homeward bound," he writes.

"Could it have anything to do with the C of E rumpus?"

BACK to the parking wrangle, and the Diary is leaving readers to decide whether this little tale should be filed under "cock-up" or "conspiracy".

Certain street parking bays in Bootham Terrace have always been marked with a red line, signifying they are for the use of B&B guests only.

That makes already scarce parking in that street rarer than a council tax rebate. So imagine residents' indignation when they returned home to discover another band of bays outlined in red. Their alarm was short-lived, however. The red marks have been blacked out again. We can only speculate that some council worker, intoxicated by the current parking purge, got carried away.

A READER alerts the Diary to a marvellous advert for a body-piercing clinic which appeared in Saturday's Evening Press. According to the ad, "permanent scaring could be the result of under-age piercing".

"With 11 years experience," the advert continued, "I will not pierce anyone under the age of 16 as it can lead to migration and scaring."

If getting an earring can scare you so much you have to leave the city, it is a wonder so many of our teenagers are - like the ad in question - full of holes.

STILL in hygiene corner, the debate about Terry's nappies versus disposables has been raging on our letters page. Sarah Chestney wrote in describing how she started toilet training her little boy when he was aged 18 months, and sought advice from her health visitor when he was still not trained aged two and a half years.

"Poor kid, he spent more than 12 months being plopped up and down on his potty like a sink plunger," observes a concerned Alan Rowntree in a letter to the Diary.

"He must by now be a champion jockey. And what on earth was this woman feeding him? Vindaloo?"

Alan, from Wigginton, fears the experience "must be enough to give anybody constipation for life".

LAST week Dale Minks brought to our attention the ever more risqu activities at the Edward VII pub in Nunnery Lane. His dismay that it was not providing entertainment aimed at his generation, such as "Connie In Combs", sets Margaret Lawson reminiscing.

"I have personal experience of combinations and while considering them eminently cosy, sensible garments you almost needed a map in order either to put them on or remove them (yes I've done both) though this always led to hilarity," says the Groves sage.

"Were the combs mine, do I still have them and will I be appearing in (of all places) Nunnery Lane at the weekend? I leave that to Dale's vivid imagination, revealing only that in my day the G-string was part of the title of a lovely melody by Bach."

You tease, Margaret...

The Diary returns on Friday.

Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

Updated: 12:18 Wednesday, July 14, 2004