JO HAYWOOD looks at a new service that aims to reunite York parents with their estranged children.

DAD left home two years ago. He's got a bit of a drink problem and used to hit mum when he'd had too much. He knows his marriage is over, but he misses his kids.

Mum doesn't want anything to do with him. She has raised her kids alone for two years without his help, and she certainly doesn't need his help now. The kids miss their dad, but she tells them they're better off without him.

It's deadlock, with only acrimonious court battles and a bitter tug-of-love to look forward to. But all that is about to change. A new service is being launched in York that aims to give children the chance to have a relationship with both their parents.

The supervised child contact service, which will officially open for business on Thursday with a cake-cutting ceremony attended by the Lord Mayor and invited guests at the Medical Society Rooms in Stonegate, does exactly what it says on the tin. It offers parent-child contact sessions in a comfortable, neutral setting with full-time supervision from experienced family case workers.

Most applications for access come from estranged fathers. If the mother refuses, it has traditionally led to a prolonged court battle. But now the feuding parents can be referred to Jane Bramwell and her team.

"We are here to provide a safe environment for children to have contact with both parents," she explained. "This includes children who have been adopted having contact with their birth families.

"What sets our service apart is the element of risk. Our sessions are fully supervised because we are dealing with what could be described as the more serious cases.

"It's not usually just because the parents can't agree on contact. Domestic violence is a prominent issue, closely followed by drink or drug abuse."

The service - the first of its kind in North Yorkshire and one of only 12 across the country - has secured government funding of £186,000 to take it through to March 2006. There are other contact services, but this is the only one offering full supervision.

The child is never left alone with the estranged parent (usually dad), and the resident parent (usually mum) remains in the building throughout the session, working through their own issues with a second case worker.

Contact sessions, which last for an hour and a half, with 15 minutes at the start for dad to talk through his plan of action with his supervisor and a 15-minute debriefing at the end, are to be held at the Holgate Family Centre on Saturdays.

"The non-resident parent has nothing to lose, so they are usually willing to attend sessions," says Jane. "The resident parent can be more reluctant to let them see the child, supervised or not. It's our job to work with both parents. We give them equal time and equal opportunity to talk things through. Our main priority, however, is the child. Children need to know where they come from, where their roots are.

"If they don't know, they can often fantasise about this wonderful father who never tells them off - unlike their mum. These sessions give them a sense of reality. Their dad is not perfect, he even tells them off when he has to, but he's still their dad." Contact sessions are held in purposefully homely rooms with comfortable easy chairs and lots of toys, games and activities.

"We encourage them to tackle art projects because it means they have to work together, rather than dad just watching the child playing with Lego," says Jane. "It's never going to be like home, but we have tried to make it as relaxing as possible."

The team can work with children of any age, even helping dads to build a relationship with their infant child, but it is not always easy re-engaging teenagers with their fathers.

"To be honest, they vote with their feet," says Jane. "If they don't want to see their dad, they simply won't turn up.

"With younger ones, we always try to build up a relationship of trust, so they feel secure telling us what they really want and need. But we've got to be careful not to get too close. It's a contact session with the parent, not us."

Every family has a written contract setting out what is going to happen and what is expected of them. If a parent becomes aggressive or turns up to a session drunk, the contract can be immediately terminated and the case returned to court.

But the contract is not set in stone. It can be reviewed and modified as progress is made. "At the start, mums may be able to handle the child seeing their dad, but not the dad's new girlfriend," says Jane. "Down the line, it may be helpful for them to meet, especially if there are half-brothers and sisters involved."

The number of sessions allotted is entirely dependent on need. They are not free - there is an initial administration fee of £25 and the sessions themselves cost £60 - but they are paid for through legal aid.

Making money, however, is not what the supervised child contact service is all about. Its basic remit is to make life easier for children.

"Our ultimate aim is for families not to need us anymore," says Jane. "If we can help the parents to be civil enough to make their own contact arrangements and to be positive around their child, then our job is done. This service is not about what dad wants, or what mum wants, it's about the child. It's all about the child."

Updated: 08:47 Tuesday, September 14, 2004