GOOD to see York transport chiefs cracking down on the latest highways menace.

No, we're not talking about lightless cyclists, phone-wielding drivers, rat-running commuters or incontinent horses.

Instead, the cause of this new nightmare is... the electric toaster.

Those of us untrained in the higher arts of traffic management may not have noticed huge numbers of humble kitchen appliances causing gridlock in the city centre. But someone is aware of the potential problem and has taken action - as our picture shows.

This sign is found on Church Street opposite Rayner Opticians. It appears to ban toasters from travelling down Patrick Pool.

And it is working: during our visit yesterday, not a single toaster flouted the law.

Our source who spotted the sign has been speculating as to its precise meaning.

He writes: "Having looked on the highway code website at various road signs, I can only guess (based on the other assorted signs) that the sign means one of the following:

1. No toasters;

2. No vehicles travelling faster than a toaster;

3. No vehicles larger than a toaster;

4. No vehicles, except for toasters."

Well, you can't fault the logic. No toast, no jams.

Following this triumph we look forward to the intelligent bollards which rise the instant a kettle steams towards them, and speed humps to slow down anyone out on a blender.

DID we hear right? Clare Frisby on a recent morning bulletin of Look North described the East Coast Main Line as running "from London to Leeds".

As every York resident except Clare knows, the track to Leeds is but a branch line from the East Coast trunk route, which travels from some place down south to York.

BLIMEY, they're dropping like flies. First the Connaught Court beeches; then the Walnut Tree's walnuts; then the Coppergate cherries; and now the Archbishop of York's conkers.

The latest tree-felling application to arrive at the council will see the loss of two horsechestnut trees, a red horsechestnut, a sycamore, a beech and a lime, all from Dr David Hope's back garden at Bishopthorpe Palace.Are our trees getting sicker, or are tree experts becoming stricter?

I HAVE been pressed to give the full story regarding a Diary-contrived flood in Huntington.

Sheer embarrassment prevents disclosure of the full details, but it involved a rash attempt at DIY, an argument with an outdoor stopcock and the deployment of three different Yorkshire Water sub-aqua rescue units.

Updated: 08:27 Wednesday, December 08, 2004