WHAT a McCheek! "A new ghoulish coach tour of the Scottish capital is to be one of the highlights of the UK's first ghost festival," reports the Edinburgh Evening News.

"How dare they?" thunders Rachel Lacy, who organised what was really (we think) Britain's first ghost festival - in York last October.

"I put a lot of time and effort into trying to establish if the York Ghost Festival was the first of its kind in the UK, which we believe it is.

"But even so I have been wary of making an outright statement to that affect just in case there has been another one - in the same way I have never claimed York to be the most haunted city because I know London, Derby, Edinburgh and I would think at least half a dozen other places all have equal claims."

Adds Rachel, York's Ghostfinder General: "It is somewhat galling to see that in Edinburgh they haven't bothered checking this themselves, and yet again they pinch an idea from York and claim it as their own!" She did email the Edinburgh copycats but got a snotty - or should that be ectoplasmic - reply.

The York Ghost Festival is back this October, bigger and better than ever. Rachel has already been inundated with offers of support, from this world and the next. It should sport the slogan: "Britain's original and still the best".

IT started on a clear, bright afternoon; birds were singing and everything appeared well in the world.

Eight hours later, as wolves howled in the night and drunken revellers pounded the streets, it finally ended.

Record books are being riffled through today after City of York Council managed to make a planning meeting stretch from 3pm to 11pm. True, it was an important subject: massive expansion plans by the University of York.

But the council has dealt with grave issues before and even Evening Press stalwarts were left scratching their heads as they tried to recall a similar marathon ordeal.

A senior council source said: "Eight hours must be a record."

Things got so bad during Wednesday's gargantuan meeting that the overworked coffee machine packed up.

The public gallery - packed at 3pm - slowly evaporated into a handful of die-hards before weary councillors and officers made their way home at 11.20pm... a time nobody had planned.

"FLAME of peace to burn at Minster" said our headline yesterday. Just keep the thing away from the South Transept roof.

THE decision to allow Royal Ascot taxis along Terry Avenue in York, a road closed to traffic for 20 years, has cyclists worried about their rights of way.

It has also inspired this vision of the near future by Diary man-in-the-field Dale Minks...

"WHY is our Rolls Royce motorcar rearing up at the front, Parker? Are you trying to park her, Parker?"

"No milady, we've unintentionally hitched a lift on one of Master Brain's intelligent rising bollards."

"Is this the way to Ascot-illo, Parker?"

"Yes milady - down Peter Evely Way via the 'twin towers', also known as the two huge gentlemen guarding the entrance to the roadway."

"But I thought the council chappies had made it a taxis-only rat-run, mainly to sort out all these jay walkers, dog walkers, Rowntree Park visitors and cyclists on the Trans-Pennine Trail, Parker?"

"Yes milady, but you can wave to the 'twins' to indicate we'll only be here two minutes. It's known as a York Council Retrospective Salute.

"They've given it to the South Bank residents just recently."

WE have had more excellent ideas for Republican Ascot, and will return to this next week.

Updated: 09:11 Friday, March 18, 2005