FORMER Lord Mayor Janet Looker came under fire from ex-Royal Navy war gunner Bernard Hallas yesterday for wearing a T-shirt and jeans on HMS York.

No matter that Coun Looker, an excellent ambassador for York, had been told not to wear formal dress on the ship.

Her specially-made T-shirt featuring a mayoral chains motif was "a disgrace to the city", said Mr Hallas.

But if that T-shirt caused consternation, what about one showing a man flashing on the beach with slogan "I Am 60 And Up For It"? The nude picture of the local man was reprinted on T-shirts, hankies and tablecloths for his surprise birthday party by Fossgate firm Zik Zak.

"It was a full frontal photograph, but it passed the Boots processing test so it wasn't too horrendous," said Zik Zak's Stewart Evans.

"Nobody thought he would wear it, but they couldn't get it off him."

Silly pictures, political slogans, jokes, catchphrases - you name it, they have stuck it on a shirt.

How about: "God must love stupid people because he made so many of them"; or, on an apron, "I like to cook with wine. Sometimes I put it in the food."

What about swearwords? "It depends on the context," Stewart explained. "French Connection have been promoting four-letter words for a long, long time with FCUK on their clothes, and made millions of pounds from it."

Zik Zak have created their own commemorative T-shirt for Royal Ascot. Stewart ruled out sending a free one to the Queen to wear in the racecourse procession, but said: "If she comes into the shop, we'll give her a good discount on it."

BERNARD Hallas is also a writer. He kindly gave the Diary an inscribed copy of his book of poems, Soldiers Of The Sea, some time ago. It is available from the author, at 6 Hawthorne Avenue, Haxby, YO32 3JT, price £6 plus £1.40 postage.

This verse from his poem In The Beginning, about his military training, gives an insight into why he found the cut of Coun Looker's jib unacceptable:

Discipline and discipline, and yet even more

For gunnery was a serious drill,

Men's lives depended on your speed

A speed matched only by skill.

HURRY, hurry, hurry. You've only got till tomorrow to apply for the post of York city centre chief executive.

It's worth a go. The "total reward package" is put at "c£50K" according to the job ad in the Sunday Times.

The money comes from the city council, Yorkshire Forward (them again) and York shops.

So what will the city supremo do for their fat cat salary?

"Reporting to the newly-formed City Centre Partnership Board, you will help create and implement the City Centre Strategy and action plan, develop the Partnership and work closely with retailers and other local businesses to identify their needs," says the job ad.

Er... So what will the city supremo do for their fat cat salary?

TURNS out the city centre chief executive is worth two York Theatre Royal heads of marketing (salary: £23-£25K) and almost two press officers for Northern rail, based at Station Rise, York (£30K). Both jobs were advertised in the Guardian this week.

Updated: 09:20 Thursday, May 26, 2005