WHAT one Fleet Street curmudgeon labelled York's "greedy and mean spirited" attitude to Royal Ascot is actually our natural entrepreneurship.

Take a scene witnessed in Blossom Street yesterday. Two toffs were promenading towards Knavesmire, attired in shiny toppers and spotless tails.

They were stopped by an old fella who proffered them a business card. This they took, read and burst out laughing.

Quite why they found the invitation to a night out at the Crescent Working Men's Club so amusing is anybody's guess.

IN the first horse-drawn carriage procession along York Racecourse, the Queen took a while to warm up - a furlong or so in she started to smile and give the traditionally static royal hand signal. As we know, this looks less of a wave, more like "any more of that and I'll clip you round the ear".

But Lord Mayor of York Janet Greenwood, in the third cart along, felt no obligation to be regally minimalist. She treated the crowds to a real wind turbine of a wave, like someone trying to flag down a gritting lorry in a snowstorm.

Good on you, Janet.

What a week for York's number one citizen. After five days entertaining the Queen and mixing with royalty, it's back down to earth on Sunday. Coun Greenwood will join a guided tour of York Cemeteries to see where previous Lord Mayors are buried.

SO how are the Royal Ascot "ladies" doing in what, by newspaper law, must be termed "the fashion stakes"?

Terrifically well, according Yorkshire telly favourite Linda Barker, who told the BBC that "ladies in the north always try that bit harder than those in the south".

But while the designer heaped praise on the racecourse outfits, James Sherwood was more sniffy.

"She looks as though she's going to Stringfellow's," he said of one woman picked out by the cameras yesterday. Another pair were advised "they could stay in the car park". And a third racegoer was awarded "ten out of ten for bravery".

Of course we all bow to James's superior knowledge. After all, he writes for that fashion bible the, er, Financial Times...

THE wittiest response to north-south carping came from York woman Carol Holroyd. She was featured in the paper yesterday, sporting the hat she wore for the first day at Ascot: a pink silk cloth cap and ferret.

That design was quite a challenge for Christine King, of Hat Therapy, based near Pocklington.

She searched high and low for a toy ferret without success, before broadcasting an appeal for help on BBC Radio Cleveland. Listeners pointed her to website interfauna.co.uk which specialises in stuffed toy animals.

From there Christine ordered an ermine (or white winter stoat). She removed some of the stuffing to give it a more streamlined, ferret-like appearance, then died it pink in the washing machine (along with tea towels already in the drum).

The back legs were whipped off, a diamante collar added, the ferret was attached to the cap and, hey presto, a truly top hat was born.

WHILE the Evening Press's finest have been out and about interviewing everyone else, the national media have been coming to our door. Our journos past and present have been pressed into action. Both editor Kevin Booth and sports editor Martin Jarred have talked up a storm for national radio.

And on Monday night's PM show on Radio 4, former Press reporter Luke Walton was heard interviewing former Press features editor Robert Beaumont about Yorkshire's suitability for Royal Ascot. But could southerners understand their broad Yorkshire accents?

WE'RE not ones to gossip, but rumour has it Rod Stewart will attend Royal Ascot tomorrow. Let's hope he arrives by water taxi: altogether "he is sailing, he is sailing..."

VEE for Victory, day two. Eddie's tips for Thursday are these: 3.05 Secret History; 3.45 (Gold Cup) Barolo; 4.20 Notability. Remember, go for a round robin to maximise what Mr Vee confidently terms your "profits".

Updated: 10:15 Wednesday, June 15, 2005