Let's all hate America and their stupid language.

It's all their fault, apparently.

Tiger Woods left cheeks burning bright with rage this week when he brought the 's' word into play after missing out on the green jacket at the Masters.

Ever since the "spaz" moment - broadcast live on television across the world - Americans have been rushing to his defence.

Definitions posted on the BBC's fantastic Ouch! website - a tongue-in-cheek cyber-glance at issues affecting those with disabilities - range from child-like clumsiness to choking under pressure.

Ironically, the derogatory aspect in the UK came from the charity name The Spastic Society, now known as Scope.

They were so good at raising awareness of cerebral palsy that the term spastic slipped into everyday usage. And it was bastardised in the playground by children who, let's face it, are not exactly renowned for fighting battles on the taste-and-decency front. Especially when they've got a great new word to throw about like weapons.

In the US, not being able to control yourself is obviously seen as much less of a problem judging by their attitude to it.

Fair enough. But if all Americans are brought up with this version, then why did so many of the reporters bottle it when it came to using the quotes?

Every week sports-writers have to perfect their tip-toe technique along the terminology tightrope.

We have a big incentive to get things right - legal action. If we call someone a muppet for playing an unplayable cricket stroke, skying a penalty or running the wrong way round the athletics track we have to make sure we can justify referring to them as a small, furry puppet designed to make people laugh.

Out of work, muppet is a favourite term of endearment for people I know well who may, for example, have been looking for their glasses while being on their head the whole time. Or perhaps having posted their telephone by leaving it on top of a pile of letters. Or sending the kind of email you don't want everyone in the office to see to everyone in the office.

But when the eyes of the public are tuned in, it's a different matter. It's think first.

As Brian Noble discovered following his comparison of a whistle-happy referee to the genesis of the Nazis.

The same rules apply to high-profile sports people. Woods has a record so clean it sparkled until this weekend - and the apology was quick in coming and genuine.

But he's still human and he still makes mistakes.

We all do it. I once reeled in horror when I realised that I had used the words "he'll have to wait and see" in the tag line of a story about a blind runner.

He didn't mind - and actually found it funny.

Tiger didn't mean any offence - and the jury is still out on whether he actually caused any - but he won't be doing it again.