IT’S coming. I’ve tried to deny it but can’t any longer. Christmas is on the way again. Which means: chaos. I like Christmas a lot, but the build-up drives me mad. Last weekend, I made the monumental mistake of trying to do my shopping, in the city centre, on a Saturday afternoon, four weeks before the big day.

I might as well have tried to cure cancer or bring lasting peace to the Middle East. It was bedlam. Unadulterated bedlam, in which mums on a mission and aggressive grannies ruled supreme. Even a skilled matador would struggle to cope here, and Petergate is certainly no place for the idle browser in the weeks before Christmas. The sparkling decorations just make it all the harsher. It’s like being sweet-talked then punched in the face.

Being short of both inspiration and patience, I decided to stagger the shopping over the course of the week instead and, even then, bailed out regularly for respite.

My first break, at Greggs the baker, nearly ended in fisticuffs when a belligerent mother decided to use her buggy as a battering ram and nearly took out half the queue.

But the next stop, at Ye Olde Starre Inne in Stonegate, was altogether better – a safe harbour in which to shelter from the howling storms of shoppers.

I had hoped I might have got a Christmas special ale on tap, but was clearly a bit too early on that count. Instead though, I went for a pint of “Brewers Desire” at 4.3 abv from Wentworth Brewery, despite the grating lack of apostrophe in the name.

I hadn’t encountered it before, but was glad I came across it – it was a curious but delicious pint, with a coffee taste and a real wintry maltiness.

When I used to go to St Michael le Belfrey Church on Sunday evenings, the Starre was always our post-service watering hole and you can always be confident of getting a good choice of ales as well as a friendly enough reception.

It plays on its history a lot, which is fair enough in York’s tourist heartland, but with three rooms and a couple of outdoor areas, there is usually plenty of space to get away from the hordes, if you are so inclined.

If I’d had more time and less will-power, I’d have happily stayed for another couple of hours but, tragically, Christmas shopping doesn’t do itself.

A couple of days and a few more purchases later, I was in Parliament Street and came across the outdoor Polish Bar in the international market and thought I’d give that a go.

In normal circumstances, I’d have gone for an ever-reliable Polish beer and enjoyed the juxtaposition of the cold, crisp lager against the environmentally brutal patio heaters. Then I spotted the sign for mulled wine. And then I spotted one for “grzane” – mulled beer – and thought I’d give that a go.

The verdict? Well the setting is great, with the mini marquee sealing off the crowds and the wooden benches and tables creating a vaguely-authentic Continental ambience.

As for the beer? Let’s just say, it’s unique. And be prepared for lots of spice.

If you’ve still got shopping to do, then good luck. And if you really can’t be bothered with this time of year, then don’t worry – it’ll all be over three weeks today.