HOW does Batman’s mother let him know his tea’s ready? She just shouts “Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner, Batman!”

As that unpromising start suggests, we’re on bat-related topics today. The reason is that the nocturnal creatures will be under public scrutiny in York on Friday.

When Hull Road Park closes, rangers will be locking members of the public in for the night – not as sinister as it sounds, honest – to go bat-spotting.

They will also be listening in to bat sounds using special detectors, so if you want to hear them gassing about who should get the boot from The Apprentice or whether Susan Boyle can break America, you’re not going to get a better chance.

And at 6am on Saturday, people will be able to mark National Dawn Chorus Weekend by entering Holgate’s West Bank Park at a time when it’s usually closed to listen to the birds nattering.

Both events are free but places must be booked in advance: phone Clair Suddaby on 07769 963127 for the bat night and Stephen Whittaker on 07771 941155 for the dawn chorus.

It is as unclear whether the bat-watching event will be signposted by one of those giant searchlight things Gotham City used to grab Batman’s attention.