Do you remember (if you are old enough) the old Jewish Catskill
comics of Vaudeville days. Don't you miss their humour? Not one
single swear word in their whole comedy routine..!
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There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out.

A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you
comfortable? The man says, "I make a good living."

I just got back from a pleasure trip.
I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years.
If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.
The thief spends less than my wife did.

We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding
night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the
estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See!
What did I tell you?"

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says "That's what puzzles me!"

Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says " Okay, let's get started."

A bum asked a Jewish fellow, "Give me $10 till payday." The Jewish fellow responded, "When's payday?" The bum said, "I don't know! You're the one that's working!"

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.