York celebrant FIONA BROWN suggests 24 ways to keep a loved one's memory alive over Christmas

CHRISTMAS is such a focal point of our society that, at this time of year, it’s difficult to get away from it.

The parent who has lost a child may not want to remember happier days.

The partner who is facing their first Christmas alone may be dreading the day.

If only we could bring our loved ones back. To relive those precious moments. We can’t - but we can treasure the better days of the past and the memories can help us through.

As we count down to Christmas, perhaps we can create new traditions as a way of keeping our loved one with us.

You may have your own ideas but this is my gift to you: 24 suggestions, a sort of advent calendar - except this isn’t a chocolate one and you don’t have to wait to Christmas eve to open that last door.

• Get together as a family and talk about how you want to remember your loved one at Christmas. Pool ideas. Young ones can be very creative.

• Plan a new tradition in your loved one’s memory, maybe on Christmas day wearing something with their favourite colour, or raising a toast with one of their sayings.

• Create a montage of photographs, adding a picture each day.

• Christmas cards – Don’t send them, make a donation in your loved one’s memory instead.

• Make the decorating of the Christmas tree a social function where you share stories and memories as you put the tinsel and baubles on.

• Buy or make a special bauble, perhaps one of those clear ones that you can place a photo inside, and hang it on the tree.

• Fill a jar or stocking full of notes of memories to open on Christmas day.

• If you are good at craft, why not create homemade crackers with a funny story about your loved one inside instead of a joke.

• Make and stir a Christmas cake together, mentioning your loved one’s name and a special memory.

• Enjoy one of your loved one’s favourite dishes over the festive season.

• Get a photo printed mug so that on Christmas day you can enjoy a cuppa while you think of them.

• Buy a personalised book featuring your loved one’s name or a printed photo keepsake album.

• Buy your loved one a gift and donate it to someone in need. Maybe do a ‘fill a shoebox’ in their name.

• Give yourself a treat as they would have given you.

• Did you share a favourite Christmas movie? Why not make a film night of it with others?

• In the run up to Christmas, do something that your loved one enjoyed and remember their pleasure at doing so.

• Maybe visit somewhere that had special meaning to your loved one and leave a natural trinket.

• If you want to set a place for your loved one at the Christmas table, do it!

• Why not put a framed portrait photo where they sat.

• If you have young ones, you might want to buy a special cuddly toy to be at the table to represent your loved one.

• You can even gift bears or cushions made from your loved one’s clothing.

• Speak your loved one’s name at the table, as the saying goes, a person is not forgotten so long as their name is still spoken.

• You may want to do something informal at home, amongst friends and family, raising a toast in memory.

• And finally, number 24, go to a memorial service and light a candle while you think of them.

Fiona Brown is a York celebrant - find out more at www.yourceremony.co.uk