Ahead of York Pride, York councillor Darryl Smalley writes about coming out as bisexual - and why events like tomorrow's mean so much...

After a two year hiatus due to the pandemic, I’m really looking forward to York Pride tomorrow.

It’s been 50 years since the first Pride march in the UK, and whilst today we live in a society where LGBT+ people can live openly and free, we can’t take progress for granted.

Hate crime against LGBT+ York residents is sadly too common, we have a Government refusing to fully ban conversion therapy and we have a long way to go to achieve equality across society (for example, same sex marriage ceremonies are still banned in CofE churches).

From an early age, I knew I was attracted to women and men. It took me until I was around 14 to start to be open with friends. It took me even longer to be genuinely comfortable with being bisexual.

I now know just how fortunate I was. I had supportive friends, family and teachers.

York Press: Cllr Darryl Smalley, Executive Member for Culture, Leisure and Communities at City of York Council

I remember feeling relief seeing the 'Some People Are Gay. Get Over It!' Stonewall posters in the corridors of my secondary school in Lincoln.

These supportive environments aren’t there for everyone coming to terms with their sexuality. Research from The School Report (2017) highlighted that nearly half of LGBT pupils (45 per cent) – including 64 per cent of trans pupils – are bullied for being LGBT in Britain’s schools.

That’s why Pride matters. Visibility and representation is crucial in raising awareness and educating the public about the difficulties affecting the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people.

York Pride is North Yorkshire’s biggest celebration of diversity, allowing York’s LGBT+ community a safe environment to sing, shout, protest and be themselves.

It’s a key part in a mission to ensure we can all live in a city where no one is discriminated because of who they are or who they love.

York Press: Darryl Smalley at a Manchester Pride event in 2019

Coming out as LGBT+ isn’t just one occasion, it never stops.

I’m sure some colleagues or friends reading this today weren’t aware – and that’s fine.

Since I told the first friend around a decade ago, it’s gradually got easier each time. Telling people my sexuality is intensely personal and at times daunting.

Sometimes it’s simply to correct a perfectly understandable assumption, other times to tackle stereotypes or tropes being peddled by unkind people.

There are still close relatives I’ve not told, but hope to do so in time. Each time, I usually feel an enormous sense of relief after coming out.

Hit shows like Netflix’s Heartstopper and pioneers like Brookside (the first lesbian kiss on a soap) help too in shifting the national mood to being one of tolerance, respect and understanding; helping the whole LGBT+ community.

Public figures coming out, from footballers to actors, is always inspirational.

Seeing the immense warmth shown to Blackpool player Jake Daniels and more recently actress Rebel Wilson can be helpful to those in the LGBT + community not yet out.

It also shows that the old age of ‘outing’ people by the media is slowly dying, with the reputation of the Sydney Morning Herald now in tatters. Responsible politicians in all parties have a role too, admitting past errors and pushing forward together to further equality and end discrimination.

And so to end where I started; I look forward to joining friends, colleagues and thousands of residents at the York Pride celebration.

The city’s thanks go to all volunteers of both the York Pride committee and York LGBT Forum for their tireless work on behalf of our city’s LGBT+ community.

To everyone who attends, LGBT+ or not, thank you for supporting our community. It means a lot.