A YORK mother says she hopes to help other victims of domestic abuse with a new book in which she recounts her struggle to escape the tyranny of a violent, manipulative partner.

Jan Grey, who fought a five-year legal battle to protect herself and her family, explains in the book how to navigate sometimes hostile hearings in magistrate, crown and family courts, and also gives tips on how to deal with abusive partners.

She writes in ‘It’s all been a misunderstanding’ that her partner, who has died recently, hit her and their children with a belt and threatened to chop off the children’s tongues if they lied.

“He even made the children put their head on a chopping block, with the threat that he would chop off their head if they defied him,”she writes, adding that the book’s title related to what her partner would often say after terrorising his family: ‘It’s all been a misunderstanding.’

Jan says that after police rescued her and her family, and placed them in a refuge, she was shocked by the criminal justice system.

Her partner was given a conditional discharge by magistrates after he admitted harassment but was acquitted on a charge of cruelty to their children at crown court, which Jan says came after a series of legal failings.

“It took three years to come to trial,” she writes. “My local MP was so astonished by this shambolic handling by the Crown Prosecution Service and the police that he wrote to them demanding answers.The police authority eventually apologised for the mishandling of the case.”

She writes that no ‘professional witnesses’ were called to repeat what her children had said to them and vouch for their good character, her own barrister never tried to put her at ease and the police officer who had handled the case for three years was only on the stand for five minutes and came out ‘apoplectic with frustration.’

Jan says lessons for anyone preparing for such a trial include:

*Check which witnesses are coming and insist they come if they haven’t been called

*Ask to see what is in the court bundle. If things aren’t in that should be, make sure they are put in.

*Take a deep breath and take time when answering in the witness box.

Jan, who provides a glossary explaining legal terms, advises people who are being hurt not to make the mistakes she made and to ‘get help and get out.’

She hails organisations such as the NSPCC, Independent Domestic Abuse Service (IDAS) and Women’s Aid,saying that without their ‘care, tenacity and knowledge,’ she and her children would not now be together, ‘flourishing and free.’

*Jan, a Christian who was helped throughout her ordeal by her faith, will be launching the book at St Paul’s Church in Holgate, at 7/7.30pm on Thursday April 28, with free entry but all donations going to IDAS, NSPCC and Victim and Witness Support. To buy the book, come to the launch or go on www.anitagrant.org.uk.