A DIVORCE and break-up coach is offering her advice on how to cope with being newly single on Valentine's Day.

This time last year, Jessica Roy, from Long Marston, near York, was a headteacher at a primary school in Leeds. After going through her own divorce in 2017, she wanted to help others through their separation, and gained her coaching and mentoring qualification.

Ahead of Valentine's Day (February 14), she advises newly single people to engage in self care, confide in those they trust, stay off social media, and learn to view the break up from a positive perspective.

Jessica said: "Divorce coaching is a new thing in the UK - the solictors deal with the legal side of things while we help with the grieving process."

Jessica has found that the most common piece of advice she gives to her clients is to simply be kind to themselves.

York Press:

She said: "Grief and loss is like being stuck on a rollercoaster. People don’t always engage in self care – people think they're being selfish and have to be prompted to do even small things to cope better. 

"Mute or temporarily delete your social media apps to turn your focus elsewhere. Constant reminders throughout the day of couples sharing their love can be depressing.

"Knowing that Valentine's Day could be a difficult, prepare and plan something in advance that will lift your spirits. It may be booking a massage, saving the book you received at Christmas, or heading out for a long cycle ride. Whatever you enjoy, do that!"

Jessica also advises people to turn to trusted family and friends for support - both practically and emotionally - throughout the separation.

She said: "Clients have described a divorce almost like being in a goal with all these footballs flying at you. Turn to a trusted friend, not necessarily your best friend, but somebody who can help signpost you to the right resources. 

"If you are making plans with friends, think about places to avoid happy couples and plan a fun event that will keep your mind focused on a positive future rather than the past."

Lastly, Jessica urges those in the throes of a separation to not fall into the trap of looking at their marriage through rose-tinted glasses.

She said: “Don’t forget why you are not married anymore. Gain back some control by flipping the story. What opportunity do you have now that you didn’t when you were married? Spend an evening planning a weekend to a place your ex never wanted to visit but you did, book to see a show they never wanted to see."

Above all, Jessica reminds her clients that time is a healer. 

“You will survive your first Valentine’s Day after a separation and things do get better," she said.

“Recognise that you have a remote control in your brain to develop techniques to manage your emotions better – don’t avoid them, develop techniques to dial them down.”

If you are interested in being a client of Jessica's, call her on 07773771373, or email: jessroycoaching@gmail.com.