JUST as I think I've finally got a grip on grammar, and remembered when i' comes before e', I discover there are people out in the world campaigning to change the English language to make the whole thing far less complicated and easier to learn.

A recent article in the news looked at a group that reckons changing to phonetic spelling will help children and adults learn and understand English.

Even though language interests me, and I'm one of these annoying people who rants about wanting the basics taught again, I found the whole idea of spelling using phonetics a bit surreal. I couldn't quite agree with the benefits this system was supposed to bring, so I thought I'd give it a trial run. Below is my best efurt, I mean, effort.

I've alwaz bin qwite good at langwage and bin abel to spel moast wurds ok. So I thot I'd give this new easi fonetic speling a trial run to give my hed a brake from wurking so hard at riting reedable sentences.

I'm sure you'll all agree that is a vast improvement, perfectly readable and far easier to understand. I can't believe I've been using actual words all these 20 or so years that I've been writing (or is that riting?). Just think of all the wasted alphabet letters.

Forgive me for sounding a bit negative here, but what possible benefit would downgrading a language, spoken in most countries in the world, to something not much above text-message lingo have for anyone? Apart from making us look like we can't even be bothered to learn our own language properly, let alone anyone else's?

Although more should be done to help people learn English (yes, I know that's rich coming from a woman who's first language is Scottish), abbreviating every other word to not much above text-speak is not only patronising, it's bordering on barefaced cheek.

We are all well aware of the low standard of written and verbal communication in the UK. It's a subject that has been hotly debated in recent years. We go round and round in circles asking the same questions: Should teachers and education establishments be responsible for imparting such information; does the responsibility lie with parents; is youth culture to blame?

I rekon, sorry, reckon spelling and grammar has a bit of a bad rep, as using it correctly is still seen by many as a skill reserved for academia.

But you don't have to write in riddles or construct complex sentences to demonstrate good nglish. Neither do you have to strip the language to its bare bones and make it ridiculously condescending in order to use it effectively.

Abbreviations do have their uses and I admit I use text abbreviations, in text messages funnily enough. Not because I can't be bothered to type the full word, it's just using full words takes up more space on the text message and being a tight fisted Scot I don't want to pay for two messages when I can put everything in one.

Having said that, some of the abbreviations do take me a few seconds to work out, which can often be a tad embarrassing, especially when your ten year-old cousin explains it to you and looks at you as though you're 105 and have never seen a mobile phone in your life.

Language and word usage has changed constantly since Neanderthal man uttered its first grunts; words and phrases come and go as quickly as the latest catwalk trends.

So are these latest language developments just a natural progression? Given how focused and reliant we are on communicating immediately via our mobiles, emails and other technology, are we simply changing our language to match our hectic daily lives? In which case, maybe those campaigning for change have a point after all, maybe it is those on the other side of the fence (that would be me, then) who need to change their attitudes?

However, there is no doubt that having a good vocabulary, and the ability to use it effectively, helps in most walks of life, especially when arguing or complaining (again, something us Scots are very good at). More often than not, baffling companies with a well worded letter of complaint will get you a lot further than a garbled rant.

And it works the other way too. I always think good grammar is a bit like having good manners, or being nice; it costs you nothing and it can make life just that little bit easier.