WELL hello there, Mr Holierthan-Thou. You must be feeling pretty chipper this week, what with your wind turbine on your roof, your multi-coloured recycling bins and your energy-efficient light bulbs.

Not sure about the electric car in the driveway though. What happens when you want to drive more than 30 miles in one go? And just how are you going to recycle those enormous batteries?

One economist comes out with one report about global warming and the world goes mad. Within seconds we've got NuLabour apparatchiks coming out with a raft of new taxes designed to bully and berate the average citizen and no one stops to say: "Hey, hang on a minute, is this bloke right and, even if he is, is taxation the right way to tackle the problem?"

And meanwhile we're told that those of us lucky enough to have worked hard all our lives to provide our families with a nice house in a nice area are going to be taxed for that "privilege".

Furthermore, a Council Clipboard Clown will soon be banging on our front door demanding entry just in case we've got above ourselves by installing a conservatory.

Usually we just bow our heads and accept that we're about to get another kicking. Well I'm sorry, I've had enough. Middle class civil disobedience starts here.

Let's start with this global warming nonsense. And let's introduce a few facts - an unusual approach in these knee-jerk times.

For our sins, Great Britain accounts for only two per cent of the world's total carbon emissions, and that figure will shortly fall as India and China metaphorically put their foot on the gas. If every single one of us in this country stopped driving our cars today until the end of time, the benefits to the environment would be outweighed by 12 months of China's current (yes, current) emissions.

The Chinese economy is expanding so fast that they're opening a new, coal-fired power station every ten days. Yes, every ten days. They have 30,000 coal mines, with new ones opening every month. China is literally eating the planet, and however many energy-efficient light bulbs Mr Holier-than-Thou buys isn't going to change that.

Now let's look at this taxation nonsense. Why is there an assumption that increased taxation is the only way to deal with the perceived problem? What is the money going to be spent on?

Eagle-mincing wind farms? Solar panels to drive the pizza-frying microwaves of the underclass?

Anyway, if the Government is really serious about this, why don't they just ban cars with engines bigger than two litres?

Why don't they just remove the licences of low-cost airlines? Why don't they turn the street lights off at midnight?

I suspect you know the answer.

This is not about solving a problem; it's more to do with finding new ways to extort even more cash from a gullible public.

As for the Council Clipboard Clown? Well, he's not coming in.

They can fine me that rumoured £200 a day, but I'm not having it. I may have installed a chrome toilet roll holder, but I'm damned if I'm going to pay for the privilege.