I WAS driving down one of our country's major motorways the other morning when a Czechoslovakian lorry driver 100 yards in front of me drifted across two lanes and smashed a passing BMW into the central reservation.

So I did what any good citizen would do. I put the hazard lights on, pulled over, called the cops and ambulance, and then went to see if I could help.

The emergency services duly turned up, cut the BMW driver free, started going through the documents of the lorry driver, and that was that. Forty minutes or so from start to finish. And that is where it all started going pearshaped.

We had an articulated lorry parked up on the hard shoulder; we had a BMW wedged into the central reservation; but at least two lanes of the motorway were clear and free. So perhaps we could press on with our important journey? Er, no.

It turned out that we (that's me and the other 2,000 or so vehicles behind me) weren't simply held up while the victims were processed. We were part of a "crime scene", and as such wouldn't be going anywhere very soon.

The traffic cops took statements from those who had witnessed the accident. That took about another 30 minutes. And then the men in white overalls turned up.

They had string, chalk and one of those surveyors' things on tripods. They paced, measured, photographed and took tarmac samples.

Overhead, a helicopter hovered, videotape running. This wasn't looking good.

After two hours, I politely inquired of a policeman as to when I might be able to resume my journey.

His response was brusque. My equally abrupt reaction was apparently sufficient for him to threaten me with arrest if I didn't, "Shut up and get back in the car".

Dear reader, we sat there for over four hours. Businessmen on their way to crucial meetings, lorry drivers delivering essential parts to industry, families heading to their holiday flight (now long departed), innocent commuters who now had to explain to the boss how a simple accident meant that they had missed an entire day's work.

It was an utter farce.

I understand that in the event of an accident that might possibly result in a fatality (in this case, perhaps the poor BMW driver), the police reserve the right to treat the incident as an unlawful death or, presumably, a possible murder.

This then requires the attendance of Dr Amanda Burton and her various spooks. It also means that the motorway in question will remain closed until the overalls have completed their investigation.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do in future. The next time an inarticulate articulated lorry driver falls asleep at the wheel and takes out a lane of innocent traffic, I'm going to swerve past the wreckage and keep on driving.

The Plod might be happy spending the day dancing around in their high-visibility jackets. I have a living to earn.