Olympic Games not for the youngest of the young (From York Press)

Olympic Games not for the youngest of the young

8:30am Saturday 28th January 2012 in TKO Tony Kelly By Tony Kelly, Deputy sports editor

BABE IN ARMS: Not at London 2012

THERE’S an almighty stink about babies... oh hang on, maybe I should rephrase that.

No, truthfully the rights of parents and the littlest of their offspring have embroiled the 2012 London Olympiad in an unlikely ruckus.

As if the impending Olympic Games did not have enough problems anyway.

There’s the small matter of the fight against drugs; the not insignificant issue of transport around a capital already teeming with folk even before an invasion of tens of thousands more athletes, officials and supporters from across the planet; and, of course, the considerable logistical nightmare of providing adequate security for an event that will be viewed as a potential target for mayhem.

Now added to all that is the question of infant care.

The baby brouhaha has flared due to the ruling by the Games organisers that infants will have to have their own paid-for ticket to attend the various events at this summer’s Olympiad.

With the residue of returned tickets due to be put on general sale in April, some mums who have given birth to babies in the time since they got their mitts on pre-ordered tickets last year, are faced with prices of £100 for their wee ’uns to attend the globe’s greatest sporting gathering.

Unrealistic, ungracious and unfair – wail the parental lobby.

Joining the outrage is Mumsnet, the website of the mother militia who have put their concerted weight behind a clamour that no extra cost should be incurred for new arrivals for the Olympiad.

The maternal web warriors claim how a myriad of other commercially-run organisations and companies do not charge the little dears for extra seats.

Mumsnet argue that it is only right for families to expect to be able to bring their recent arrivals to complete an entire family day out at a once-in-a-lifetime event. Rising childcare costs are also cited as ruling out the little loved ones having to stay behind while the rest of the family lap up the five-ringed revelry.

Now I have to declare an interest here. I am a non-parent. No baby blues or goo-goo-gaas for me, though I had more than my fair share of nappy-changing, burping and minding as a teenager with two far younger sisters.

But even with the best will in the world I just cannot see what this mother of all fuss is about.

So you want to bring your infant to the Olympics.

Can anyone honestly say that a tiny baby, even one right up to the age of a year, is going to remember the day he or she, or they in the case of multiple births, attended the cycling at the velodrome, the sprint heats at the Olympic Stadium, the beach volleyball on a heavily-sanded Horseguards Parade, or the football at any number of stadia throughout the country?

Some people, who have since grown up, may well have a remarkable recall about their earliest days.

My first memory is an extremely fuzzy one of a warmth enveloping me and big faces laughing in my direction. It was later explained many years later by being plied with whisky in a saucer of tea by my dopey dad and his brother at a family celebration. Heh-ho.

But I’m sure if I’d got a ticket to the 1956 FA Cup final I would not now be able to tell you who the teams were or what the score was. (Actually it was 3-1 to Manchester City against Birmingham with a certain Don Revie playing as a deep-lying centre-forward for the Mancunian blues brigade).

Can you also imagine how a youngster might feel at an event in which, say, a Brit wins and the respective roofs of stadium, arena, swimming pool or hall, are being bawled off their joists by a gravel-larynxed crowd?

Such a cacophony would be enough to frighten elephants, let alone a babe in arms.

It is not only pure folly to think that tots under the age of one should be able to enter the Olympics free of charge, but also extremely selfish.

What about the enjoyment of people who are attending various events purely for the adult adrenaline rush of simply enjoying sport?

I know I would not fancy a gurling, feeding, teething, mewling, mardy infant in the very next seat to me whether propped up on a cushion or in its mother’s clasp.

If pushy parents want their little Lisbettyboops or tiny Tarquinjonquils to have the privilege of taking in the Olympics then pay up.

If you can afford Olympic tickets in the first place, surely you can cough up for another one. Anyway, what’s bloody family allowance for?