JOB done, point gained, in our own hands, dug deep, did all that was asked – Kiev, the premier city of Ukraine, was the undisputed capital of clichés in midweek.

And the litany of frayed phrases, more hackneyed than a fleet of London black cabs, emanated from one direction – right out of the mouths of England’s management and players in the aftermath of the 0-0 draw against Ukraine in their World Cup qualifying clash.

They were all sound-bites couched in truth – England did not lose, which would have been calamitous for their campaign – but they were all also wholly unappetising.

It’s also true England’s qualification campaign hinges on what they do in the last two games to come next month against Poland and Montenegro – both at Wembley. Win both and the tickets for Rio next summer can be booked.

And as one employee at Walmgate Towers said at half-time on Tuesday night, a World Cup in Brazil without England would be intolerable.

But to repeat that Kiev performance in Rio, the spiritual home of the beautiful game, would be akin to football heresy. I’d far rather England were marooned at home, players planning their new advertising contracts and Premier League clubs plotting to which far-flung corner of the globe their pre-season tour, or rather money-scamming mission, would take them.

It was Johan Cruyff I think who coined the phrase ‘anti-football’, ironically of Brazil, but in Kiev, it was unfurled in all its dead-handed dreariness and not just by the visitors.

As if ensnared by the fear factor of not losing both Ukraine and England did the game a massive disservice. However, it no doubt suited that apostle of atrophy – England manager Roy Hodgson.

I don’t doubt Hodgson’s sincerity when he praised his men for rising above a genuine depletion of attacking resources – no Rooney, no Sturridge, no Welbeck, no Carroll – to remain unbeaten, but his description of the duel as “high-quality” stretches credibility to snapping point.

Hodgson is a man of caution and every Liverpool fan, myself included, is only too aware of that.

Almost at the outset of his brief tenure in charge of the Reds he relayed a message of uninspirational obduracy about not always being able to win away from home etc. That jarred enormously and put so many supporters’ backs up. Any self-respecting fan does not want to hear that from their manager. Certainly not from the holder of a post whose predecessors number Bill Shankly, Bob Paisley, Joe Fagan, Kenny Dalglish (first time around) and Rafa Benitez (the early years).

Yes, the three Lions were shorn of their best attackers, but was that sufficient excuse to select a side and imbue it with a tactical plan that would have irked Mr and Mrs B Ore from Borechester in the county of Borecestershire?

In his understated delivery – no bad thing as a counter-balance to the modern football’s all-consuming hype – he suggested that to have gone gung-ho and come back beaten by the Ukrainians would have been irresponsible.

But one look at the yuk factor of the Ukraine team, England could have effectively packed their guide to the best nitrous-oxide nightspots in Rio had they shown a teensy-weensy sense of adventure.

A push, a nudge even, towards a maximum three points would not only have put the Ukrainians out of the equation but sent a message to next month’s Wembley pilgrims, Poland and Montenegro, that the destiny of group ‘H’ was unassailably in England’s province.

But in the timid, insipid performance the only message relayed was that England’s leonine pack have all the threat of a kitten on a Christmas calendar.

Uncle Roy, here’s a twist on another cliché, you’re only as dud as your last game.

They’re surely messin’ about

PROOF that not all football fans are blessed with ample grey matter.

A poll conducted by Barcelona of their supporters revealed two per cent believed that Lionel Messi – arguably the world’s best striker and at such exalted status for several seasons – should not be in the team.

I wonder how they back such nonsense up. Maybe declaring he’s only got one foot or that he doesn’t score enough headers?

If I was the other 98 per cent I’d be demanding those Messi malcontents be named and publicly shamed.