Second chance Charlotte Cundall thrives after death of dream (From York Press)

Second chance Charlotte Cundall thrives after death of dream

10:56am Friday 21st October 2011 in Turf Talk

WHEN Charlotte Cundall was told she would never sit on a horse again, the news threatened to crush her spirit. But, as she tells STEVE CARROLL in a Turf Talk special, she has found redemption at York Racecourse

IT felt like the tears would never stop. For someone who had been through so much, the finality of it all came down with a hammer blow.

The words reverberated, echoing round a disbelieving mind too stunned to take them in.

‘You’ll never ride again’.

Then came the realisation, hitting hard like a crushing fall when ten lengths clear, that her dreams – the ambitions which drove her on – were over.

What was worse was that this had happened before.

The operations, the X-rays, the rehab. Charlotte Cundall had succeeded then, had fought back from a broken back in 2007 to ride again.

Now, as it finally began to sink in that she had suffered another back fracture, she realised everything was going to change.

“Last year, throughout July and August, I’d been getting really bad back pains and I couldn’t work out why I couldn’t feel my left leg,” she remembered.

“I kept going to the doctors and they didn’t really do anything. Eventually, I had a scan in October and, a month later, they told me I had another fracture.

“I’d been riding through all of this. I’d had a silly fall and they wondered whether it had happened then.

“My muscles had been holding me together. Then, in January, I got a call from a neurosurgeon who said ‘we need to see you’.

“My back had separated and my spinal cord was doing a u-bend half way down. They said they needed to operate.

“They put 30 rods in my spine and said I couldn’t ride again because, if I fell, the metal would damage and I would be paralysed.

“I had to completely change my life because my whole career was riding horses. Suddenly it was ‘oh my God, what do I do now?’ “To break your back twice is just ridiculous. I have to laugh really otherwise you would cry a lot and I have cried a lot.”

Malton-based Cundall’s recovery the first time had been the stuff of film scripts.

The story, which she relayed to Turf Talk readers in May last year, had won her a prize in the 18th Martin Wills Horseracing Writing Awards – when she was second out of a record 82 entries in the under-26 category.

The inspiring account had been built on a fairytale ending. Having suffered the injury at 22 during a schooling session, she had defied all expectations.

A body brace, physio sessions that never seemed to end, laps and laps of the swimming pool. All had been worth it because Cundall could ride once more.

Point-to-Point winners flowed, there was a winner under rules at Wetherby, the Yorkshire Novice Ladies’ Point-to-Point championship and eventing to International 3* level.

Now, Cundall had to start again.

“It was my dream,” added the 26-year-old.

“Riding horses was what I did. It was horrific – especially after getting back from one massive injury – clawing my way back – to then be told again ‘you can’t do it’.

“I’d felt indestructible again. I was racing and eventing.”

Cundall admits she ‘lost her identity’ for a time in the aftermath of that dreadful news but the desire to remain in the world of horseracing forced her to pick herself up.

And it was York Racecourse which came to the rescue.

“You have to pick yourself up,” Cundall said. “I wanted to stay in the industry but I thought ‘how do I do that?’ I came to York for a three-month short-term contract in accounts.

“I had done a bit of that at university in my degree. I got a first in business management at Newcastle and, ironically, I only got a qualification in case I couldn’t ride.

“I then applied for the British Horseracing Authority’s graduate programme. I had a placement at Goodwood and they offered me a position but I wanted to come back. Yorkshire is home.

“There was a job coming up at York. I applied and got the job. I am a commercial assistant and, even though I am 26, I am starting again.”

So Cundall now has new dreams, and refuses to allow her injuries to restrict her lifestyle. Even if that might lead to some scowling from her surgeons.

“I have to get lots of experience but, if one day I could be a clerk of the course, that would be amazing,” she said. “That’s a long term, ten-year goal, but you have to have dreams and mine have had to change.

“So you have to have new dreams. This is ideal for me and I am really excited.

“I love the racecourse and the team. They have made me feel so welcome and I feel very honoured to have been given this opportunity.

“It’s like a second chance for me. I found the transition quite hard but I realised if I couldn’t ride, I couldn’t ride – I would have to put my energies into something else. You have to accept it.

“It was hard to get over the top and, don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of tears. There is still the odd one when I go somewhere where I would have been aiming to get to.

“Then I wish I could just get on.”

Cundall continued: “I played hockey the other day. I just wanted to do something else. The surgeon looked at me and said ‘you’ve had three major spinal operations. Hockey is bending over, is it such a good idea?’ But I love it. I’m not going to be defined by having a broken back.

“After the operation, I thought it was the end of my world and it sounds silly but I lost my identity for a couple of months.

“I was always Charlotte who rode. Now I feel like I have a second chance and I am so grateful to York for giving me this opportunity.”