QWE have recently acquired two new neighbours.

The first is a wild goose. Every year a goose (we thought it was the same one) nested on a small island in the middle of our pond. She has been very successful and after her brood hatched, waddled the goslings off across the fields and into the unknown. We never found out exactly where she took them off too. But this year no sign at all of a nest on the island. Zilch. Nada, Rien. Had our Mother Goose met her end with a hungry fox, a speeding motorist, or just expired from old age.

And then yesterday, a movement caught John’s eye high up in an oak tree in a clump of trees close to the ponds edge. Scarcely believing what he could see, he made out the silhouette of a goose tucked down into what he thought was an old squirrel’s drey in the fork between branches.

Clearly this goose is taking no chances with any ground vermin. And as John has no desire to disturb the nest we have no idea how close the eggs are to hatching. I have seen a film of Barnacle Goose chicks taking dives from clifftop nests only hours after hatching so that they can follow their Mum. But that is in Greenland, not here. We shall have to wait and see.

Our second new neighbour is a pied wagtail. She (or he) appears to regard the wing mirrors on both of our vehicles as Public Enemies Numbers 1, 2, 3 and to infinity and beyond. I had not really appreciated that there was a problem and not comprehended why the wing mirrors on my car were consistently streaked with bird muck. I would wipe the wing mirrors clean with whatever piece of cloth or paper was at hand before I took the car out of the yard. And then a few hours after I had returned from shopping/errand running/socialising/time wasting/emergency child minding, and parked the car up, notice the white streaks of guano/bird excrement, once more all over the wing mirrors.

But then, because John has taken the Land Rover out of the Fort Knox garage I mistakenly call the grain shed and left it parked up outside on the yard, I spotted a little pied wagtail seated on the wing mirror. It was furiously pecking away at the glass, twittering away angrily and adding to her/his aggression by triumphantly defecating all over the offending door mirror. Hopefully I have solved the problem on my car by remembering to lock it, as then the wing mirrors fold close to the side of the front doors. As John’s vehicle, being so basic of course, does not have retractable wing mirrors, I notice he has placed a large cardboard box over each mirror. I just hope he remembers to take them off when he goes out.