Let’s campaign for real pale

11:14am Saturday 17th May 2008

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FOR YEARS, I have struggled in vain to achieve a golden glow, to rid myself of my blue-grey hue. But do you know what? I cannot be faffed any more.

A little bit of sunshine and parts of us that have been hidden away all winter are revealed in an assortment of summer clothes.

For those of us blessed with fair skin, this often means spending wads of cash on fake tan - desperately trying to rid ourselves of our pasty limbs before having the courage don anything that shows off more than our ankles.

What is so wrong with being pale? It's become an automatic desire to be brown, we've been conditioned to believe that "a healthy glow" equates to being tanned.

And it's a big business, with more than £40 million a year being spent on an assortment of golden mousses, sprays, creams and mists. Most women, and indeed some men, will have experienced the frustration of trying to apply the stuff without a) getting it streaky and patchy, b) turning nearby surfaces and clothes bright orange and c) ending up looking like you've fallen in a vat of brown shoe polish.

I have experience of all three. Being so pale, it's difficult at the best of times for me to find a shade of foundation that matches, never mind a fake tan that looks natural.

And that word - natural' - if someone naturally takes a tan when exposed to the sun (ignoring the skin damage issues for a moment) then a brilliant, expertly applied fake tan will look like it's meant to be there.

On someone like me, however, who simply goes from white to red to white (if half of me is burnt I look like a crab stick) any kind of brown instantly looks distinctly unnatural.

Yet for years I've been going through the same rigmarole each summer, trying various products which claim to provide easy-to-apply non-streaky natural coverage.

Has it ever worked? No, has it heck.

I thought with the release of body moisturisers lightly laced with tanning chemicals that gradually build up over time, I'd finally get that longed after natural look.

But no, yet again I was bitterly disappointed with my patchy yellow knees.

So this year I've said goodbye to it all. I'm pale, I'll deal with it. I will stay away from pastel shades and white (not that I own anything white in the first place) and happily walk around with my pale skin providing a reflective surface. We're always being told that we should be happy with what we've got and finally I am.

I'm not going for the whole pale and interesting approach or the English rose look (there are two fatal flaws with the latter), I'm just pallid and don't see the point in fighting the inevitable anymore. It's also a decision that one particular celebrity has adopted recently.

Nicola Roberts of Girls Aloud has shunned the fake tan, opting to flaunt her true pale skin tone next to her orangey co-band members.

I reckon (and I honestly can't believe I'm about to say this about a Girls Aloud member) that she's made a smart choice, as now I think she stands out more in a good way.

She's so committed she's even brought out a make up range (surprisingly affordable) specifically aimed at us waxen lot - which is a heck of a lot more than the big cosmetic companies have tried to do.

Don't get me wrong, if I thought for a second I could pull off fake-bronzed goddess I'd probably go for it, but the reality is I just look daft. Being translucent actually suits me (in my head anyway) and this summer I really don't mind flashing my pasty pins next to the golden reams that are usually on display.

Never again, will I subject myself to a spray tan in a pair of paper knickers, or spend hours diligently exfoliating and moisturising and applying.

Quite apart from the enormous effort required, I have better things to do with my time.

So here's to a summer filled with white legs and ashen arms (slathered in sun cream). Who knows - some people may actually rediscover what their natural skin tone is.