Thank heaven for pink pigs

8:17am Wednesday 2nd April 2008

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From teeth whitening to tummy tucks, cosmetic surgery is now accessible to more people than ever. I recently looked in to laser eye surgery and found I asked questions of myself that I never expected.

This journey started with me scouring the internet for every scrap of information about laser surgery I could find. I read everything from the American horror stories to the immaculate testimonies on the many companies' websites. I decided that the benefits outweighed the risks and I booked an appointment to see if I was suitable.

This was a somewhat traumatic episode, not because of anything that was done to me, most of the tests we have all had before during a standard eye test. No, the trauma was entirely down to the fact that I got very excited about it all, wore a warm jumper - it was a cold November day and, here is the clincher; I didn't eat anything that morning!

So, half way through the consultation I fainted, convulsing as I apparently do, (yes this has happened before, a lesson not learnt!) Only to come round looking into the ashen face of the understandably worried optician.

At this point I gave into the need for food and with only 49p in my pocket headed for the nearest bakers where I found just the thing.....a day-glow pink fondant pig which I woofed down like I was at a pie eating contest. Now on a sugar high the tests all finished, finances and risks discussed, the big question was posed.......Shall I book a date for your procedure?

Well full of excitement the answer was obviously "yes, as soon as possible".

Here I was. All booked in for three weeks time.

I started to ponder on what this actually meant. My partner was not overly convinced "but you've always worn glasses, they suit you." And the more people I spoke to, the more I realised how much my glasses were part of me. Although I must point out that many of the less positive reactions came from people who had never worn glasses.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of people's reactions were very positive and it was astonishing how many people had considered laser surgery and wanted to know everything about it.

I hadn't thought of laser surgery as being a cosmetic procedure but it is. Although I was doing this to be free of steamed up glasses while cooking and looking through a goldfish bowl when it was raining and, let's face it we are in North Yorkshire it rains a lot, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was changing a fundamental part of me. It was a surprisingly disturbing feeling and I wondered if people having other cosmetic surgery feel this way? Would I be less interesting without my glasses? Would I look less intelligent without them? Would I lose an essential part of me?

The day of the surgery dawned and after a good breakfast (see I've learned!) We were on our way. I was incredibly scared and it took all my will power not to get up and leave.

I didn't leave.

The surgery was very quick and painless the staff really were as nice and supportive as the website claimed and two hours later I was sitting at home with a cup of tea watching telly, recuperating.

I am writing this three months later and I have better than 20/20 vision - no I didn't know that was possible either. But I am still haunted every now and again by the thought that I've changed myself and I will never be the same again. I don't regret having it done for a second, but my trusty scratched and abused glasses weren't stamped on as suggested by people.

No, they've been carefully and lovingly packed away in the case they never saw when I wore them and kept in a safe place as a reminder of who I was before my 'new eyes'.