Home is where the house is? (From York Press)

Home is where the house is?

11:56pm Sunday 14th October 2007

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Just come back from a bargain week on the fragrant island of Menorca. Wonderful to enjoy some Sunshine when it’s rainy and cold at home. “Shall we move out here?” is a thought that strikes most of us wherever we go on holiday and have a good time. It’s that little word “home” that’s the problem.

Thinking of emigrating to Australia some years ago, which seemed to be the land of opportunity, there was a reason I couldn’t go and I couldn’t put my finger on it. My brother simply said, “I can’t go I’m too English”. Straight to the point, too English, my problem too. I suppose coming from Yorkshire, the spiritual heart of England, it’s always going to be difficult to find anywhere better where you feel you really fit in. Anyway, enough of the glad to be a Yorkshireman bit, back to the holiday.

Menorca is great because it is so hard to get lost. It’s a small island with one main road running the full length of it, superb. Menorcan drivers are very friendly, keeping close to the bumper of any car in front of them, so that nobody gets lonely on their journeys.

The Mediterranean Sean is so warm you can swim in it for ages and still find you’re your unmentionables when you towel yourself dry. Although having suffered a walk through a nudist beach, you’d wish some of the fat hairy blokes would stay in the water until things dropped off. Why do they seem to think nudism means trying to ensure everyone sees their tiny willies.

Another surprise is the many small sparrows, hopping right up to your feet, looking for scraps and seeds. Surprisingly there are cats on the island, but they seem more interested in the tourist’s scraps too. Is it bird friendly to feed the cats? No idea.

We saw a number of acts and the best by a mile was the Hoochie Coochie Band (hope I’ve spelled it correctly). They delivered a range of rock and blues songs, with a professionalism and sense of enjoyment that would enable them to perform anywhere. But… the name sounds a bit dated for a group of young lads.

I had the best Chinese meal I’ve had in a long time and came back feeling fit and knackered from the travelling. If only Menorca was in Yorkshire, it would be perfect.

Anyway, must go, got to put the kettle on for the magical cup of tea “at home”.