THE Spectator, the Conservative Party's weekly journal, is soon to announce a new editor, after Boris Johnson gave up political thinking to become a Tory frontbencher.

This is the magazine which was embroiled in various unlikely sex scandals last year, involving Boris himself, a Guardian journalist, American publisher Kimberly Quinn, the former Home Secretary David Blunkett and others, although not all at the same time.

One of the favourites to take the editor's chair is journalist and Helmsley councillor Martin Vander Weyer.

But a Diary source is not sure that Martin is the best bet for the job, "as he has a blameless sex life. Not good for the Sextator. He was once propositioned by Kimberly Quinn, though".

This is not the only race the amateur thespian has taken part in.

"Poor Martin, he was on the shortlist for the Vale of York constituency when Anne McIntosh triumphed in the mid-1990s, but fell at the last hurdle because he had a beard and didn't have a nice pliable Tory wife.

"He doesn't have a beard now - but he still doesn't have a wife."

TODAY, according to some spurious survey or other, is National Break-Up Day. It is the 24 hours when York folk are most likely to split with their partners.

Three-quarters of people in York questioned by internet service Yahoo! decided to move on from their relationship after realising their partner didn't fit into their overall life plan. But one-in-four men blamed conflict with the "in laws" over the Christmas period.

This brings a new meaning to the term Twelfth Night.

COCKERELS are troublesome creatures. Just ask Dick Turpin. He got away with murder and thuggery, then shot one measly cockerel. Next thing he knows, he's swinging from York Tyburn.

Dick would sympathise with the neighbours of George, the crow-happy cock, who has them sticking fingers in their Earswick at dawn every morning. But it is not just countryside fowl that create a noise hazard. Urban birds are as bad.

Some years ago Evening Press sports writer Hugh MacDougall lived in a flat on St Mary's, in the middle of York.

Every morning one of the peacocks living in Museum Gardens would hop over the wall at 5am and emit an ear-splitting shriek under his window.

After several disturbed nights, a desperate Hugh called the police to ask their advice on his legal rights to curtail the racket.

"Officially," the nice policewoman informed him, "they have the run of the city. Unofficially, you can do what you like with them."

Perhaps the peacock got wind of this, because he never disturbed our man again.

PETER Kay's adverts for John Smith's Bitter have gone down a storm. But he is too busy to star in future commercials, and the Tadcaster brewery wants someone from Yorkshire to front future ads.

Apparently the brief is "a funny bloke you would like to go to the pub with".

The Racing Post has nominated William Hague, Darren Gough and Ricky Wilson, frontman of Leeds band Kaiser Chiefs.

There must be someone better than that. Please send your nominations for "a Yorkshire funny bloke (or lass) you'd like to go to the pub with" to the Diary.

Updated: 08:54 Thursday, January 12, 2006