ANYONE looking to define typical attributes of the English television viewer would be unlikely to put athleticism or Christianity high on their list.

So who has been appointed as the new TV regulator to arbitrate in matters of taste and decency? A God-fearing athlete who doesn't watch much TV, that's who.

Jonathan Edwards, the world record-breaking triple jumper and former lay preacher, seems an odd choice for this role with Ofcom. This newly-formed body will be the most powerful broadcasting regulator yet seen in Britain. And Edwards will rule on complaints about sex and violence on radio and television, while also monitoring the balance of broadcast material.

This could be a bit of a burden for a Christian athlete who doesn't watch much television. So it is as well that Edwards has a partner in his new role, someone who can lend weight to the task. Yes, bring on Floella Benjamin, the former Play School presenter.

Imagine the scene as this pair get to grips with their new task...

Floella (speaking very slowly): "So, Jonathan - what can we see through the round window today?"

Jonathan: "Well, Floella, I think we should look through another window altogether. There seems to be something rude going on in this one. There's a woman who doesn't appear to have any clothes on and... dear me."

Floella "Never mind, Jonathan. Perhaps you should go outside and jump over something until you feel better."

Perhaps it is cheap of me to drag up Play School. It was a long time ago and Floella is now an independent producer. Yet the thought of these two ruling on what the rest of us should be able to watch is alarming.

The National Secular Society is worried Jonathan Edwards may bring an evangelical perspective to his new job and has called for the athlete to be replaced with "an appointee whose views are more likely to be in line with public opinion".

Keith Porteous Wood, the society's executive director, said: "Mr Edwards brings with him a heavy religious agenda... We fear that Mary Whitehouse may be being reincarnated - but this time with real power to impose censorship rather than to just demand it."

In a newspaper interview at the weekend, Edwards admitted he didn't watch "a massive amount of television". Isn't that like a new appointee turning up at the Amateur Athletics Association and saying: "I don't hold with all this sweaty running about - it doesn't do a lot for me."

Asked about his preferences, Edwards said he liked ER but didn't go for The Simpsons. What interesting pro and anti choices. There are those among us who rate ER as one of the best TV programmes ever, so it was encouraging to have Jonathan's blessing.

But it is odd that he resists the considerable charms of The Simpsons. As well as being the most consistently brilliant cartoon ever, and the one unquestioned good Rupert Murdoch has done for the world, The Simpsons is a surprisingly moral programme.

Far from being anti-family or anarchic, The Simpsons offers a moral path through modern life, usually with Homer learning to do the right thing, after many encounters with the wrong-headed way. And religion features prominently and sometimes in a surprisingly flattering light.

So, before Jonathan Edwards turns himself into a more nimble, but equally pop-eyed version of Mary Whitehouse ("what I don't like is gratuitous sex and violence..."), he should get himself a TV education and watch The Simpsons.

Updated: 11:21 Thursday, May 01, 2003