ACCORDING to folklore born deep in the mists of time, the way household pets and wild animals behave can indicate impending good or bad luck.

In the United States of America for instance, a black cat crossing the road is considered terribly bad luck. In Britain, a bat flying around a church during a wedding ceremony will, according to the superstitious, bring misfortune to the married couple.

And forget milking a cow heading for market - that'll produce several years' of adversity, not a cool, refreshing drink.

Despite the greatest scientific minds of the last Millennium doing their level best to debunk the ancient myths of witches and warlocks, one more imprecation may be added to the list: Beware, beware an inflatable white elephant floating menacingly around England's regions!

The blow-up behemoth signalled bad luck for disconsolate John Prescott, the fallible Deputy PM. Representing inflated council tax bills and even more politicians, it was the potent symbol of the vociferous "No" campaign against a directly-elected regional assembly in the North East.

Last week, voters ditched the proposed "mini-Parliament" - which would have controlled a multi-million pound budget and wielded powers over planning, housing, economic strategy, tourism and culture - by a humiliating 78 per cent to 22 per cent. Not only did it leave in tatters Prescott's dream, it also scuppered any chance of people in Yorkshire and the Humber being handed a chance to vote for a regional assembly.

But, unbeknown to many, Yorkshire and the Humber already HAS a regional assembly, set up in 2001 and widely-seen as the model for an elected body.

It has 39 members in Wakefield and Brussels plucked from councils, trade unions, ethnic communities, business, education, culture and health. None has been elected by you.

It collects more than £1.5 million a year in subscriptions from the region's 22 local authorities, paid, as taxes, by you.

And it "scrutinises" Yorkshire Forward, the regional development agency responsible for the economic development and regeneration of the county, checking it spends money wisely.

According to the assembly's website, it "works with Yorkshire Forward... to develop strategies needed to improve the quality of life for people living and working in Yorkshire". It adds: "We are the regional planning body, agreeing where and what types of development will meet the future needs of the region. We then ensure that roads and services all 'join up' across the region to meet these needs."

And because Yorkshire Forward's success depends on co-operation from local councils, businesses and other organisations, it means Yorkshire and Humber Assembly's unelected arrivistes have an input on regional policy which affects you.

Mounting disquiet over the assembly's rising subscription rates has led two local authorities - East Riding and North-East Lincolnshire - to jump ship.

Ryedale is considering doing so.

But Prime Minister Tony Blair, who - he repeatedly claims - is keen on handing power to the people, has no intention whatsoever of scrapping such obsequious, self-serving organisations.

In the Commons on Wednesday, Tory leader Michael Howard said: "There are now eight regional assemblies in England. They cost millions of pounds. We now know they have no popular support at all. When will you abolish them?"

With shameless effrontery, Mr Blair replied: "We won't abolish them because they perform a perfectly good task of co-ordinating action in the regions."

If the Tories didn't like 'em, they could easily get off 'em, he added.

So, there it is - for the time being. Yorkshire doesn't get to vote on a regional assembly. If it had, it would have said "No" overwhelmingly. But that doesn't matter. Because you've got one whether you like it or not.

Is that democracy? Of course not. But you won't win that argument.

You've more chance of finding buried treasure after spotting a black goat on a bridlepath.

Updated: 10:49 Friday, November 12, 2004