Slimming operation tragedy of devoted mum Kerry Greaves

9:30am Monday 10th August 2009

By Mark Stead

SHE loved her daughter so much that she went to extreme lengths to lose weight for her – but it was a decision which cost Kerry Greaves her life.

Now the grief-stricken family of the “bubbly, popular and determined” 30-year-old from York has pleaded with others to ignore worries about their image after seeing the devoted mother die following an agonising 14-operation marathon.

Fearing her three-year-old daughter, Melissa, would be teased at school because of her mum’s weight, Kerry, from Tang Hall, chose to undergo a gastric bypass procedure in order to restrict her food imtake.

She believed it would give her a new lease of life and, before going into hospital in June, made plans for a Spanish holiday later in the year – but it was a trip she would never take.

Severe complications meant her stomach failed to heal after the surgery and, despite constant operations during a month-long battle to save her, Kerry died from organ failure on July 22 – despite the odds on such a tragic outcome being 2,000-to-one.

About 150 people attended her funeral last Friday, which her mother, Anne, said spoke volumes about what people thought of Kerry, a former Burnholme Community College pupil who helped set up a petition during the battle to save her old school from closure. She died without knowing it had succeeded.

Anne said: “Kerry never thought there would be any problems with the surgery and neither did we, which makes it so much harder to come to terms with this.

“She was looking forward to it and couldn’t wait to see the results. She told us she wasn’t going to buy any new clothes before the operation because the weight would drop off. We didn’t think she needed to do it, but she had made up her mind, so we respected that.

“But then her liver and kidneys failed and she kept needing operations. The worst thing is that she was aware she was dying – we told her she wasn’t, but she knew.”

Mrs Greaves says her daughter’s decision to put herself through pain for Melissa’s happiness was typical of her approach to life.

“She wanted to do it for Melissa because she cared so much about her, and that sums her up – doing things for others,” she said.

“If she’d thought there was a risk, she would never have gone through with it.

I’m so proud of her – it was her choice and she made it because she loved Melissa and would do anything for her.

“In a way, I think Kerry is still helping people because what happened to her will raise awareness.

“My advice to anybody thinking of having this operation would be to find more pride in yourself and don’t do it.”

Friends and family members packed into the church for Kerry Greaves’s funeral to say a final goodbye to the “tough cookie who kept fighting to the end”.

During a eulogy read by the Rev Allan Hughes at Holy Trinity Church, in Heworth, mourners heard how Kerry, who had two brothers, Russell and Kevin, and a sister, Cheryl, called her daughter, Melissa, her “little princess”.

“She was fun-loving, bubbly, always smiling and with a wicked sense of humour.

“You knew she was there because, if you couldn’t see her, you’d probably hear her,” he said.

“She was a wise counsellor and communicator to her many friends and even had her own website giving advice to people who wanted to move house or who were in the throes of doing so.

“She did this because, when she was moving, the website she found wasn’t very good – she thought she could do better and she certainly did.”

He also said her fighting qualities had shown through during her time in hospital when she had seemed on the brink of death several times.

“Each time, she summoned up reserves of strength which kept her going, until at last she could fight no more,” he said.

A tribute written by Kerry’s nephew, Jordan, was also read out, in which he described her as “a great person – loving, caring, happy and smiling” and said “You will be missed by everybody, but you will never be forgotten”.

Kerry’s mother, Anne, has sent a message of gratitude to everybody who attended the funeral and who has lent their support to the family.

She said: “Kerry was a party animal – she loved holidays, loved going out, and if something was going on, she wanted to be part of it.

“She was so popular and everywhere she went, she had Melissa with her. She didn’t have this operation through vanity, she did it for her daughter – that sums her up.”

Kerry’s brother, Kevin, said: “She was outgoing, lively and I’m proud of her – I just can’t get used to not having her around.

A gastric bypass operation involves creating a small stomach pouch and bypassing part of your small intestine to make your digestive system shorter. This means that you can only eat small meals and your body absorbs less food. Surgery is usually recommended only if non-surgical treatments, such as diet, exercise and medicines haven't worked. The operation usually requires a two to four-day stay in hospital and is done under general anaesthesia. A surgeon will uses surgical staples to create a pouch from the upper part of the patient’s stomach, separating it from the rest. A section of small intestine is then bypassed and re-connected to the pouch. Food takes a shorter route through thedigestive system, so less food is absorbed by your body. Gastric bypass can be done using keyhole or open surgery. The operation takes between one and three hours.