A helping hand for the big arrival (From York Press)

A helping hand for the big arrival

9:57am Tuesday 29th April 2008 in

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WHEN Rebecca Elcock discovered she was pregnant, joy quickly turned to fear.

"I had serious anxieties about going into labour," admits Rebecca, 40, who lives in York with her partner, Lee Sudlow. "I was having bad dreams and it was always at the back of my mind. Being an older first-time mum, you do hear that labour can be more difficult.

"Also, so many people tell you horror stories and I began to pass on my anxieties to Lee. The day I told him I'd hired a doula, he was relieved."

From the Greek word meaning woman servant, a doula now refers to a woman who offers emotional and practical support before, during and after childbirth.

Doulas are common in America, and growing in popularity here, with more than 200 registered in the UK, dealing with at least 1,000 births a year. Celebrities who have enlisted doulas during their pregnancies include Elle MacPherson and Rikki Lake.

Rebecca hired Rachael Leiby, a mother-of-four from Pocklington, who is a qualified breastfeeding counsellor as well as a trainee doula.

"We had three consultations before the birth," said Rebecca. "At the first meeting, we just got to know each other, at the next one, we discussed the birth plan and on the third, we finalised the birth plan."

Rachael also loaned Rebecca and Lee a selection of books about pregnancy and labour, and was only a phone call away if they needed any questions answered.

"She was there to answer any question, whether it be silly or not. I'm sure mums have questions they don't dare ask the doctor or midwife, like: Can I really strip off and give birth in front of these people?'," says Rebecca.

But the biggest stress-buster, says Rebecca, was knowing that Rachael would be there to support her and Lee during the birth.

"Just knowing there was going to be another woman there with me and give me support made me feel better," said Rebecca. "Lee thought it was great too, for although he wanted to be at the birth he felt glad the onus would not just be on him."

When Rebecca went into labour, she called Rachael, who came over immediately. Rachael then accompanied Rebecca and Lee to hospital and stayed with the couple until Parthena Rose appeared the following day.

"It was fantastic having Rachael there," said Rebecca. "Not just for me, but for Lee too. He could ask her questions, making sure that everything was as it should be."

Although Rebecca needed medical intervention to deliver the baby, for most of the labour, she was able to follow her birth plan.

"I wanted to use the birthing pool and didn't want any pain relief until the last minute," said Rebecca. "As it happened, after 26 hours, the baby got stuck and I ended up with something I didn't wish for. But all the staff at York Hospital were marvellous and helped me stick to my plan for as long as I could."

Rebecca feels Rachael's assistance was key in helping her establish breastfeeding with her new baby. "I was keeping an open mind about breastfeeding," says Rebecca. "I didn't know if I would like it and I didn't mind if I did it or not.

"Rachael was there for the first latching-on and taught Parthena how to do it. She made sure Parthena lay on my tummy and naturally found her way up to my breast. It took about one hour 20 minutes and watching my baby push her feet against Rachael's arm to find her way to my breast was an incredible, memorable moment."

Hiring a doula costs between £150 for a trainee to £400-plus for a fully-qualified practitioner. "It's worth every penny to stop the worry," said Rebecca. "I'd recommend it to anyone who was having worries and wanted another women with them but didn't have a mother or a sister."

Rebecca had her own good reason for not bringing her mother with her into the labour suite.

"Having my mum with me would have made me a big cry baby," she says. "Having someone there who wasn't part of my family made me stronger. It was like having a personal trainer with you."

Rachael, 36, is one of three doulas in the York and Selby area. She has undergone training with leading obstetrician Michel Odent and Liliana Lammers, one of the first doulas in the UK.

Rachael says doulas can have a big impact on mother and baby.

"There is good evidence showing that continuous support from people the mother is familiar with helps them feel safe and secure and can really help to bring about a good, successful birth," she said.

Also, she added, research showed that having a doula at a birth can halve the chance of the woman needing a caesarean or other medical intervention.

Although not medically trained, doulas can give practical information and support to woman at an important stage in their lives.

"We offer a listening ear and are non-judgmental," says Rachael.

With women living far away from their families and midwifery services in the NHS under pressure, Rachael says many woman turn to doulas to secure some one-on-one care through pregnancy and labour.

Doulas are well established in America, and Rachael believes their number in the UK will continue to grow. "The feedback I've had from midwives is really favourable," she said. "We try to work with the midwife rather than tread on their toes."

• Contact Rachael Leiby on 07966 673037
• Find our more about doulas and hiring a local doula by visiting www.doula.org.uk

...and help with teens

TODAY'S teenagers live in a different world to the one their parents experienced as teens.

As well as the normal' teenage trials like going through puberty, modern adolescents have the added complications of a faster pace of life, sexual predators on the internet and binge drinking.

It's a minefield, and one that authors Suzanne Franks and Tony Wolf aim to guide anxious parents through in their updated book, Get Out Of My Life.

The book covers the standard problems experienced by parents, before moving on to issues such as the electronic world, drinking, drugs and divorce.

Franks, a mother-of-three (two of whom are still teenagers), says: "Life is moving on at an incredible pace. The whole mechanism of how children behave has changed, and a lot of things open to them have changed too.

"Their body's going through all sorts of things, and they hit adolescence much sooner.

"The way they view authority and their deference towards society, and particularly towards their parents, has changed, and that's why parents are having a hard time with teens."

Most of the parenting of teenagers is the same as ever, with parents needing to set boundaries and establish a good relationship with their child.

And once those boundaries are set, parents should try to bite their lip about some of the other, less important, teen issues.

"You've got to pick your battles with teenagers; it's too wearing to fight over everything. I'm not saying don't fight, but you have to set boundaries, and decide what really matters to you."

• Get Out of My Life by Suzanne Franks and Tony Wolf is published by Profile Books ( £8.99)