In terms of the pecking order, the recent Royal arrival isn’t hugely significant. But the tradition is that he should be given a name fit for a king, nevertheless. And so he has been - if a rather French one. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have named him Louis Arthur Charles. 

At a recent football match between William’s team Aston Villa and Cardiff City, Will is said to have told fans ‘I’m going to insist the baby is called Jack’ after Jack Grealish scored. 

Clearly not even the future King can insist on his own child’s name. There was always a limited pool of traditional names to choose from. Even Louis was a little surprising. But it was hardly going to be TJ, was it?

Even if Kate had wanted to go down the Kim and Kanye route and call him Crown or Monarch, she’d have had no chance. And thank goodness.

I wince whenever I heard of a celebrity baby landed with a ridiculous name. It smacks of a desperate bid by the parents for publicity, or to further boost a family ‘brand’, without a second thought to how the poor child will get through life with a name that barely even passes for a name.

The Geldofs started it, calling their daughters Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches and Pixie. Paula Yates went on to name her fourth child, with Michael Hutchence, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

Of all the lovely names she could’ve chosen, Gwyneth Paltrow decided on Apple for her daughter. How dull. Kim Kardashian screamed: ‘Look at us’ with her choice of baby names - North, Saint and the most recent addition, Chicago. Other celebrity baby names include Journey, Future, Dream, Pilot and Everest (George Lucas’s daughter, so it could have been worse...Yoda, Stormtrooper, R2-D2...).

Even these naff choices seem fairly run-of-the-mill compared to Moon Unit, the name Frank Zappa’s daughter was saddled with, and, perhaps worst of all, Blanket, Michael Jackson’s youngest child. It might have seemed cute when he was a baby, clutching a blanket, but the lad is a teenager now. Even with a showbiz heritage, you can’t be 15 and cool if your name is Blanket. What if he grows up to be a lawyer or a doctor?

There’s something selfish about giving a child a silly name. They’ll be stuck with it all the way through school, college and adult life. Particularly unusual names, or daft spellings, must be so tiresome for children destined to spend their lives constantly spelling their name, and sending back official documents bearing various incorrect versions.

Working on a newsdesk, I came across an article which mentioned a child called Befani. I asked the reporter to check the spelling. It was indeed Befani, presumably because her parents couldn’t spell Bethany, or had made up their own version. Why should people be allowed to make up names? They can’t in France, where there are strict rules about naming. If you bring a child into the world, the least you can do is give them a proper name. Don’t get me started on initials. The likes of TJ or AJ are okay as nicknames, but at least be bothered to give your child a full name.

Name trends evolve - Archie, Elise and Lily are popular now, as they were a century ago, whereas post-war baby names like Dorothy, Pauline and Derek are dated. But established names are part of our history. How sad if they died out in favour of daft, self-indulgent inventions.