THEY call it Lady Petrol on Loose Women. (Or so I’m told. Obviously I’d rather rub hot candle wax in my eyes than watch those ladies drool over what Christian Grey might do with it. But anyway.)

To the rest of us it’s rosé wine, but, credit where it’s due, Lady Petrol is a rather fitting tag — especially if you’ve ever seen a hen do in action at York Races.

Majestic currently have a decent selection of the stuff in their August offers, and – just like one of those hen dos — while they’re all in pink, the individual differences can be very noticeable.

Take the Chateau de Berne, for example (£14.99 down to £9.99 if you buy two before Monday or £11.24 when you buy two as of Tuesday).

Tall, slightly square, delicate and almost colourless, but persistent, well-balanced and increasingly fruity.

This is initially the quiet, almost insipid one in the hen party, but the one who’s still there at the end, dancing with guys in the early hours yet making sure everyone else is okay.

It’s said to go well with spicy Asian cooking, so perhaps she’s not as innocent as you may think either.

By comparison, the Pizarras de Otero from Bierzo in northern Spain (£9.99 down to £6.66 when you buy two after Tuesday), is much bolder. A dark pink in colour (its Mercia grape is more commonly found in reds) it has a harsher taste, with strong raspberries and acidity.

This is the loud, brash leader of the hen do pack, the one full of slap, who screeches her way to the bookie and screams when her horse loses.

Great fun, until ordering test-tube shots all the way down Micklegate, frightening young men and going home early after a drink-fuelled mood swing.

In between the two in both colour and personality is the one everybody’s jealous of: the Domaine la Chautarde (£9.99 down to £7.49 when you buy two), from Provence.

Soft, dry, gentle and elegant yet fulsome and pretty, she’s stylish in high heels but could look just as good in PJs with bed hair the morning after the Races. Thing is, she knows it.

Then, of course, comes the bride-to-be, the sparkling Codorniu Rosado (£9.99 down to £6.66 when you buy two as of Tuesday), borne out of the Cava family of Spain.

Bubbly with excitement that her big day beckons, but also mellow, knowing she’s a good catch and has her man. Fresh, pure and strawberry-cheeked, she’s confident on her own but can also play along with her mates. Not high maintenance either at that price.

Question is, which one of the Loose Women is your favourite?

Next week: rosé wine for a stag do. (Only joking, lads.)

@PMartiniPress