From a whore’s perspective: Star struck by Jesus

The diary thoughts of Val Punt as she prepared to play "The Woman Taken In Adultery" in the York Minster Mystery Plays 2016

LET'S face it, Jesus must be bricking it. I know that I would be, in his shoes (or sandals), as the only professional actor amongst all us amateurs. It’s not like he can even remind himself that it’s all pretend because, for many people, this is very real.

When they take their seat in the impressive auditorium that is the Nave of the Minster, the expectation upon Jesus’ shoulders will be massive. And yet, what a fantastic experience: the role to trump all roles.

Billy Connolly said “I can’t believe in Christianity but, I think Jesus was a wonderful man”… And we are very much a cast of varying beliefs. However, we come together as a collective conscious, aware that we are doing something bigger here - conveying a deeper meaning through our various roles (did I mention that I’m playing a beaver?).

Furthermore, as our director said, he should look good on a cross (he being the lovely Philip McGinley, this production’s Jesus. And yes, I can confirm that he is easy on the eye which makes rehearsals all the more appealing although obviously it’s highly distressing to watch him suffer - this may lessen considerably when he takes his top off. I hear he’s been working out for the role…).

Talking of suffering, the director or somebody has hung up a picture of precisely where the nail would be banged into the wrist during crucifixion. It looks like the kind of picture that you would find on the wall of a doctor’s surgery, with official terminology and cross sections (just the kind of thing to uplift the mood whilst rehearsing!).

In fact, all of a sudden I am acutely aware of lots of pictures hanging from a washing line all around our rehearsal space. I have ignored these so far, possibly because I’m short, but there are images from the news such as those depicting refugees.

Nothing has been said about these, or maybe I haven’t listened, but we are to be dressed as a contemporary chorus (i.e. in our own clothes) as well as traditional Judean folk and I suppose this demonstrates that the bible story must be a relevant tale for 2016.

One perfect example, of course, for York, is the recent flooding which affected many people, including several of my friends. Hence the bible story can bring with it a whole host of immediate and personal images whilst also retaining the major themes of good and evil, life and death, blah, blah, blah.

As the director said, imagine a 12-year-old boy watching this drama for the first time, it must ‘speak’ to him. Ok, got it, so we need to reach a whole different demographic … as opposed to just my parents then.

However, the burning question here must be: is one allowed to swoon over Jesus? Clearly I’m writing this from a female perspective but it seems to me that the very nature of women means that we do tend to swoon(great word) every so often in deserving directions.

Now, I feel that I know a fair amount about Jesus (I was an RE teacher once, the less said about that the better), however, I’m seeing him in a whole new light… is it because he saves me from being stoned? (Spoiler alert!) Jesus is certainly well known for his love of women but what I’m asking myself is, honestly, as a female, albeit one who is desperately hanging onto her thirties, how would I have viewed him had I lived at the time? Rock star? Megalomaniac? Egoist? Do gooder? Or something much, much more?

Obviously the image of Jesus means different things to different people. Apologies if I’m getting a tad bit theological here - speaking of which, Di Starr (great name, great lady) is one of the named chaplains for our rehearsals. As a big company of actors, I can see that we may require support at times (I made the helpful suggestion that sherry and an honesty box might also be beneficial… medicinal even).

Interestingly, Di, who gives a brilliant performance in the role of donkey hustler in this year’s production, was chatting with several of us about our newly assigned understudy roles. One of the younger cast members was feeling aggrieved that anybody else might play his character.

I was surprised to learn that Di agreed, explaining that she felt an attachment to her role – in a spiritual way. She advised me that I may also have a ‘spiritual’ experience… I can’t say that it’s happened yet…She has also suggested that we swap parts one night so that she can beat up my assailants (I definitely wouldn’t mess with her!) and I can turn my hand to a spot of donkey handling. Sounds like fun. Watch this space… Now where’s that sherry?

To be continued