From a whore’s perspective: It’s a mystery…

The diary thoughts of Val Punt as she prepared to play "The Woman Taken In Adultery" in the York Minster Mystery Plays 2016

‘You’re in the what?’ said a seemingly cultured friend to me recently. She had just shared the news that she was pregnant, so I felt that I had to reciprocate with something equally exciting.

‘The Mystery Plays’, I repeated waiting for the penny to drop, adding helpfully, ‘In York Minster’. After what seemed like an age, she let out a peal of laughter and said ‘So, let me get this right, you’re playing Miss Marple in the Minster?’

That very same evening, at a local pub, a mere stone’s throw away from the Archbishop of York’s Palace, another friend further questioned my madness: ‘I just don’t get why you’re doing it. What’s it about anyway?’

Coming to my rescue, other friends explained that it’s the story of the Bible. ‘So, how does it end then?’ she continued. ‘Well, I don’t want to give it away but there’s a bit of a twist involving this bloke called Jesus…’ I said.

And, so, I’m writing this for you Liz and Sara, and for all the other lovely people of our city, to help educate about the joys of this thing called the Mystery Plays.

This year celebrates the 40th anniversary of the production of the Yorkie bar here in York (‘where the men are hunky and the chocolate’s chunky’ – as the slogan for Rowntree’s Chocolate Factory used to say).

But that’s nothing compared with the amount of time that the city has been producing mystery plays, which is a very long time, at least since Judi Dench was young anyway, possibly even since the death of Christ.

Feel free to look up the history bit yourselves. The major thing here is that this year’s production is going to be performed in the Minster for only the second time ever.

My guess is because it costs about £2,000 to hire each night -I’ve no idea how accurate this information is but a friend of a friend told me, so I’m going on trust. No wonder they need free – sorry, I mean, community - actors.

Therefore, for 41 performances, from the 26th May I will be joining many others to offer my services to the York Mystery Plays. Should be good fun.

As someone who has lived in York since the age of seven, the Mystery Plays form part of my York heritage. My first play opened with a torrential thunderstorm at Creation, followed by a rain delay. My box of smarties was soaked…but I was hooked.

It was an epic piece of theatre, sitting in a large outside space watching old and young people crowd onto a magnificent set wearing fabulous costumes. Plus I knew the story; always a bonus.

That said, I do strongly recall that I didn’t have a clue why a woman was being dragged screaming on to the stage. All my mother would say, after having shushed me, was that she was a bad woman. I had got that much on my own.

Either way, Jesus seemed to like her. And this is the part that I am playing this year – ‘woman caught in sin’ - as described in John’s Gospel of the New Testament. Or, as the costume lady misread from her list when I went for my first costume fitting, ‘woman caught in sun’ (I’m hoping to be stepping out in style in a bikini as I get dragged down the aisle of the Minster).

Anyway, more about her later (that is the whore, not the costume lady Judith, who is lovely, and I must apologise for laughing out loud at her although the smile was soon wiped off my face when I tried on my Judean woman costume. I mean, a turban? Really? Note to self: never mess with the costume ladies).

To be continued...