ARTHUR Smith, London wit, raconteur, playwright and definitive Grumpy Old Man, will have a piece of advice for Yorkshiremen when introducing us to the art of Mindlessness at next month's York Literature Festival.

"Stroke a sock," says Arthur, who will be appearing at the Grand Opera House on March 12 at 7.30pm. "You don't have to sit up a mountain naked and juggle prunes. Just come to my show."

Sock-stroking and towel-folding are but two of his techniques to help you to empty your mind and reach a blissful state of "mindlessness" in a show with plenty more to it. "Leonard Cohen is coming. That's me, of course. I'll be singing," says Arthur. "There'll be poetry to 'break your heart' and anecdotes about the BBC and showbusiness."

Smith, 61, knows York well from having family here, but he has appeared on stage in York only once, for a school benefit show. Now he is looking forward to asking next month's audience what makes them grumpy. "Yorkshire people are good at being grumpy," he says appreciatively.

And what does he think of York? "It's a gorgeous place. I love it. It's not as posh as Harrogate and it's better than Leeds," says Arthur.

Tickets are on sale on 08344 871 3024 or at atgtickets.com/york. More information on the York Literature Festival can be found at yorkliteraturefestival.co.uk