ANYONE without a ticket is beyond Help in forlorn pursuit of seeing Northern Irish comedian, radio presenter and television personality Patrick Kielty return to his stand-up roots at Pocklington Arts Centre on Saturday.

The 8pm gig has sold out, full stop. Those who have acquired a seat, however, must play their part in Kielty's new stage show because he can't perform Help without their assistance as this erstwhile psychology graduate attempts to write a modern rulebook for love, life and happiness.

“Bring me your problems, your lovers and a crayon. I promise to do the rest,” says the 44-year-old rule writer from Dundrum, County Down, who incidentally announced last month that he and his wife, TV presenter Cat Deeley, are expecting their first child.