EVERY so often I receive letter from an institution called TV Licensing, coaxing me to watch television.

Sometimes they even send a rep round to hard sell the idea, but as I have never yet figured out how to work my car radio, I'm not ready to face another technological challenge.

Hitherto, I have had the best of these one-to-one doorstep encounters, but now the new manager has threatened me with an impending visit from officers of the dauntingly titled York Enforcement Team. With nine heavies to hold me down and two to slip on the 'cuffs, what chance have I got?

My great worry was that after 20 years, I wouldn't be able to catch up on programmes missed. Has the Coronation Street cat retired? Likewise Carol Vorderman? Does Delia still go on about parsley and ground nut-oil? I felt like Rip Van Winkle. Obviously, I needed to consult a TV planner.

Done that! On second thoughts, I'll stick with the court appearance, and chance the £1,000 fine.

William Dixon Smith, Welland Rise, Acomb, York.