It’s no laughing matter but I couldn’t wait to alert my daughter to the news that skinny jeans can seriously damage your health.

Sometimes, teenagers’ jeans look so tight I’m surprised they can breathe. I wasn’t at all surprise to hear how a woman’s too-tight pair caused damage to her muscles and nerves, leading to her to collapsing in agony.

But isn’t this the tip of the iceberg? There are so many fashions that, to my mind, present a a danger to life and limb: Maxi skirts and dresses These emerged in the 1970s but came back with a vengeance a couple of years ago. They’re okay for floating around at a garden party, but if you have ever seen anyone run for a bus wearing one then you’ll know they’re not the safest garment on the planet. They should be banned from escalators. I had the misfortune to be behind a woman in Leeds Station, whose dress caused her no end of problems as she rode the moving staircase. She bunched up the material but dropped it close to the top and only just avoided being caught up in the mechanism.

Wide sleeved tops I have a cardigan with wide sleeves. I love it, but I am always catching them on door handles, causing me to whip backwards. It’s not great when you’re carrying two mugs of tea.

Mile-high shoes Heels were high when I was a teenager, but now things have gone beyond a joke. People totter about with their heads quite literally in the clouds. Some heels are so high their wearers appear to be walking on stilts. They not only present a danger of falling, but statistics show that high heels are one of the biggest factors leading to foot problems in women, with up to a third suffering permanent difficulties as a result of prolonged wear. There is evidence that in shoes with a heel two inches or higher, the foot slides forward, forcing the toes into the unnatural shape of the shoe and redistributing your weight incorrectly.

Micro skirts Shorter than a mini-skirts, being less than eight inches in length and only just covering the crotch, micro skirts are not a danger in themselves, but people who wear them spend half the time tugging at the hem, attempting to preserve their modesty. They don’t look where they are going and could easily end up flat on the floor.

Special body contour pants Surely the cause of internal injuries, I once tried to put on a pair and felt like I was being squeezed by an anaconda.

Lastly, the latest life-restricting pair of jeans my youngest daughter spent good money on also have huge rips in the knees. While not a health risk, surely you’d have to be slightly unbalanced to buy them?