“THE army went in two by two – hurrah, hurrah!” – or that’s what Noah Cameron should have ensured as the South disappeared underwater.
“Are you going to the Somerset Levels prime minister?” hollered journalists, but answer came there none from Noah. He was far too busy at Mount Olympus in London addressing 150 handpicked guests, urging Scots to remain part of the UK.
Even as wily Alex Salmond goaded him with a battle cry to debate Scottish independence in Scotland, old Noah shirked from such a confrontation, preferring to get the English electorate to do his dirty work for him by phoning a Scottish friend.
Locals in Somerset said their land had been managed by them since the 12th century, until the Environment Agency took over – resulting in undredged rivers, ill-prepared tidal surge protection and rapid run-off of rain from the hilltops.
Noah belatedly waded in, releasing white doves from Tory ark austerity, in search of Tory votes.
Tom Scaife, Manor Drive, York.